"Of a good family, I hope?" asked Johanna. "There are some persons it
would be a disgrace to you to love. What is her other name?"
"I don't know," I answered, reluctantly but distinctly.
Johanna turned her face full upon me now--a face more agitated than I
had ever seen it. There was no use in trying to keep back any part of my
serious delinquency, so I resolved to make a clean breast of it.
"I know very little about her," I said--"that is, about her history; as
for herself, she is the sweetest, dearest, loveliest girl in the whole
world to me. If I were free, and she loved me, I should not know what
else to wish for. All I know is, that she has run away from her people;
why, I have no more idea than you have, or who they are, or where they
live; and she has been living in Tardif's cottage since last October. It
is an infatuation, do you say? So it is, I dare say. It is an
infatuation; and I don't know that I shall ever shake it off."
"What is she like?" asked Johanna. "Is she very merry and bright?"
"I never saw her laugh," I said.
"Very melancholy and sad, then?"
"I never saw her weep," I said.
"What is it then, Martin?" she asked, earnestly.
"I cannot tell what it is," I answered. "Everything she does and says
has a charm for me that I could never describe. With her for my wife I
should be more happy than I ever was; with any one else I shall be
wretched. That is all I know."
I had left my seat by Johanna, and was pacing to and fro in the room,
too restless and miserable to keep still. The low moan of the sea sighed
all about the house. I could have cast myself on the floor had I been
alone, and wept and sobbed like a woman. I could see no loop-hole of
escape from the mesh of circumstances which caught me in their net.
A long, dreary, colorless, wretched life stretched before me, with Julia
my inseparable companion, and Olivia altogether lost to me. Captain
Carey and Johanna, neither of whom had tasted the sweets and bitters of
marriage, looked sorrowfully at me and shook their heads.
"You must tell Julia," said Johanna, after a long pause.
"Tell Julia!" I echoed. "I would not tell her for worlds!"
"You must tell her," she repeated; "it is your clear duty. I know it
will be most painful to you both, but you have no right to marry her
with this secret on your mind."
"I should be true to her," I interrupted, somewhat angrily.
"What do you call being true, Martin Dobrée?" she asked, more calmly
than she had spoken before. "Is it being true to a woman to let her
believe you choose and love her above all other women when that is
absolutely false? No; you are too honorable for that. I tell you it is
your plain duty to let Julia know this, and know it at once."
"It will break her heart," I said, with a sharp twinge of conscience and
a cowardly shrinking from the unpleasant duty urged upon me.
"It will not break Julia's heart," said Johanna, very sadly; "it may
break your mother's."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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