"Why can't some one tell Nettie she's to go too?" said the eldest boy.
"She's most good of all. What does Nettie want to go away for? But I
don't mind; for we have to do what Nettie tells us, and nobody cares
for Chatham," cried the sweet child, making a triumphant somersault out
of his chair. Nettie stood looking on, without attempting to stop the
tumult which arose. She left them with their mother, after a few minutes,
and went out to breathe the outside air, where at least there was quiet
and freedom. To think as she went out into the red morning sunshine
that her old life was over, made Nettie's head swim with bewildering
giddiness. She went up softly, like a creature in a dream, past St
Roque's, where already the Christmas decorators had begun their pretty
work--that work which, several ages ago, being yesterday, Nettie had
taken the children in to see. Of all things that had happened between
that moment and this, perhaps the impulse of escaping out into the open
air without anything to do, was one of the most miraculous. Insensibly
Nettie's footsteps quickened as she became aware of that extraordinary
fact. The hour, the temperature, the customs of her life, were equally
against such an indulgence. It was a comfort to recollect that, though
everything else in the universe was altered, the family must still have
some dinner, and that it was as easy to think while walking to the
butcher's as while idling and doing nothing. She went up, accordingly,
towards Grange Lane, in a kind of wistful solitude, drifted apart from
her former life, and not yet definitely attached to any other, feeling
as though the few passengers she met must perceive in her face that her
whole fortune was changed. It was hard for Nettie to realise that she
could do absolutely nothing at this moment, and still harder for her to
think that her fate lay undecided in Edward Rider's hands. Though she
had not a doubt of him, yet the mere fact that it was he who must take
the first step was somewhat galling to the pride and temper of the
little autocrat. Before she had reached the butcher, or even come near
enough to recognise Lucy Wodehouse, where she stood at the garden gate,
setting out for St Roque's, Nettie heard the headlong wheels of something
approaching which had not yet come in sight. She wound herself up in a
kind of nervous desperation for the encounter that was coming. No need
to warn her who it was. Nobody but the doctor flying upon wings of haste
and love could drive in that break-neck fashion down the respectable
streets of Carlingford. Here he came sweeping round that corner at the
Blue Boar, where Nettie herself had once mounted the drag, and plunged
down Grange Lane in a maze of speed which confused horse, vehicle, and
driver in one indistinct gleaming circle to the excited eyes of the
spectator, who forced herself to go on, facing them with an exertion
of all her powers, and strenuous resistance of the impulse to turn and
escape.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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