The spring lagged on, accordingly, under these circumstances. Those
commonplace unalterable days, varied in nothing but the natural
fluctuations of making and mending,--those evenings with Fred sulky by
the fire--always sulky, because deprived by Nettie's presence of his
usual indulgences; or if not so, then enjoying himself after his dismal
fashion in his own room, with most likely Susan bearing him company, and
the little maiden head of the house left all by herself in the solitary
parlour,--passed on one by one, each more tedious than the other. It
seemed impossible that such heavy hours could last, and prolong themselves
into infinitude, as they did; but still one succeeded another in endless
hard procession. And Nettie shed back her silky load of hair, and pressed
her tiny fingers on her eyes, and went on again, always dauntless. She
said to herself, with homely philosophy, that this could not last very
long; not with any tragical meaning, but with a recognition of the
ordinary laws of nature which young ladies under the pressure of a first
disappointment are not apt to recur to. She tried, indeed, to calculate
in herself, with forlorn heroism, how long it might be expected to last,
and, though she could not fix the period, endeavoured to content herself
with the thought that things must eventually fall into their natural
condition. In the mean time it was slow and tedious work enough--but
they did pass one after another, these inevitable days.
One night Nettie was sitting by herself in the parlour busy over her
needlework. Fred and his wife, she thought, were up-stairs. They had
left her early in the evening,--Susan to lie down, being tired--Fred to
his ordinary amusements. It was a matter of course, and cost Nettie no
special thought. After the children went to bed, she sat all by herself,
with her thread and scissors on the table, working on steadily and quietly
at the little garment she was making. Her needle flew swift and nimbly;
the sleeve of her dress rustled as she moved her arm; her soft breath went
and came: but for that regular monotonous movement, and those faint steady
sounds of life, it might have been a picture of domestic tranquillity and
quiet, and not a living woman with aches in her heart. It did not matter
what she was thinking. She was facing life and fortune--indomitable,
not to be discouraged. In the silence of the house she sat late over
her needlework, anxious to have some special task finished. She heard
the mistress of the cottage locking up, but took no notice of that
performance, and went on at her work, forgetting time. It got to be
very silent in the house and without; not a sound in the rooms where
everybody was asleep; not a sound outside, except an occasional rustle
of the night wind through the bare willow-branches--deep night and not
a creature awake but herself, sitting in the heart of that intense and
throbbing silence. Somehow there was a kind of pleasure to Nettie in the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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