Thinking had done
Nettie little good hitherto. She felt herself on her true ground again,
when she took to doing instead. The lamp burned dimly overhead, throwing
down a light confused with frost upon the hall, all encumbered with
the goods of the wandering family. Perhaps it was with a certain
unconscious symbolism that Nettie buried her own personal wardrobe
deep in the lowest depths, making that the foundation for all the after
superstructure. Smith stood by, ready to hand her anything she might
want, gazing at her with doubtful amazement. The idea of setting off to
Australia at a few days' notice filled him with respect and admiration.
"A matter of a three months' voyage," said Smith; "and if I might make
bold to ask, Miss, if the weather ain't too bad for anything, how will
you pass away the time on board ship when there ain't nobody to speak
to?--but, to be sure, the gentleman----"
"The gentleman is not going with us," said Nettie, peremptorily--"and
there are the children to pass away the time. My time passes too quick,
whatever other people's may do. Where is Mrs Smith, that I see nothing
of her to-night? Gone out!--how very odd she should go out now, of all
times in the world. Where has she gone, do you suppose? Not to be
ungrateful to you, who are very kind, a woman is, of course, twenty
times the use a man is, in most things. Thank you--not that; those
coloured frocks now--there! that bundle with the pink and the blue. One
would suppose that even a man might know coloured frocks when he saw
them," said Nettie, with despairing resignation, springing up from her
knees to seize what she wanted. "Thank you--I think, perhaps, if you
would just go and make yourself comfortable, and read your paper, I
should get on better. I am not used to having anybody to help me. I
got on quite as well, thank you, by myself."
Smith withdrew, not without some confusion and discomfort, to his
condemned cell, and Nettie went on silent and swift with her labours.
"Quite as well! better!" said Nettie to herself. "Other people never
will understand. Now, I know better than to try anybody." If that hasty
breath was a sigh, there was little sound of sorrow in it. It was a
little gust of impatience, indignation, intolerance even, and hasty
self-assertion. She alone knew what she could do, and must do. Not one
other soul in the world beside could enter into her inevitable work and
way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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