If the noble Lord did speak at all to the Doctor, it would have been in
a passing remark, an easily answered question as to the sanitary state
of his neighborhood, or a chance allusion to the march of the cholera in
the north of Europe,--so at least Lord G. says; and, moreover, that if
the Doctor did, by any accident, evidence any of the qualities for which
you give him credit, save the modesty, that the Earl would have just
as certainly turned away from him, as a very forward, presuming person,
quite forgetful of his station, and where he was then standing. You can
perceive from this that I have read the paragraph in yours to Lord G.;
but I have done more, Kitty: I have positively taxed him with having
obtained the appointment in consequence of a chance allusion I had made
to Dr. B. a few weeks ago. He denies it, dearest; but how? He says, "Oh,
my worthy uncle never reads _my_ letters; he 'd throw them aside after a
line or two; he's angry with me, besides, for not going into the 'line,'
as they call Diplomacy, and would scarcely do me a favor if I pressed
him ever so much."
When urged further, he only laughed, and, lighting his cigar, puffed
away for a moment or two; after which he said in his careless way:
"After all, it mightn't have been a bad dodge of me to send the Doctor
off to Turkey. He was an old admirer, wasn't he?"
After this, Kitty, to allude to the subject was impossible, and here I
had to leave it. But who could possibly have insinuated such a scandal
concerning me? or how could it have occurred to malignant ingenuity to
couple my name with that of a person in his station? I cried the entire
evening in my own room as I thought over the disgrace to which the bare
allusion exposed me.
Is there not a fatality, then, I ask you, in everything that ties us to
Ireland? Are not the chance references to that country full of low and
unhappy associations? and yet you can talk to me of "when we come back
again."
We are daily becoming more uneasy about James. He is now several weeks
gone, and not a line has reached us to say where he is, or what success
has attended him. I know his high-spirited nature so well, and how any
reverse or disappointment would inevitably drive him to the wildest
excesses, that I am in agony about him. A letter in your brother's hand
is now here awaiting him, so that I can perceive that even Robert is as
ignorant of his fate as we are.
All these cares, dearest, will have doubtless thrown their shadows over
this dreary epistle, the reflex of my darkened spirit. Bear with and
pity me, dearest Kitty; and even when calmer reason refuses to follow
the more headlong impulses of my feeling, still care for, still love
Your ever heart-attached and devoted
Mary Anne Dodd.
P. S. The post has just arrived, bringing a letter for Lord G. in
James's hand. It was addressed Bregenz, and has been several days on
the road. How I long to learn its tidings! But I cannot detain this; so
again good-bye.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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