Christian life -- Fiction; Dreams -- Fiction; France -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Now, her greatest temptation came to her at night. Before going to
bed, that her sleep might be calm, she imposed upon herself the task of
resuming reading the Legends. But, resting her forehead on her hands,
notwithstanding all her efforts she could understand nothing. The
miracles stupefied her; she saw only a discoloured flight of phantoms.
Then in her great bed, after a most intense prostration, she started
suddenly from her sleep, in agony, in the midst of the darkness. She sat
upright, distracted; then knelt among the half thrown-back clothes, as
the perspiration started from her forehead, while she trembled from head
to foot. Clasping her hands together, she stammered in prayer, “Oh! my
God! Why have You forsaken me?”
Her great distress was to realise that she was alone in the obscurity
at such moments. She had dreamed of Felicien, she was eager to dress
herself and go to join him, before anyone could come to prevent her
from fleeing. It was as if the Divine grace were leaving her, as if God
ceased to protect her, and even the elements abandoned her. In despair,
she called upon the unknown, she listened attentively, hoping for some
sign from the Invisible. But there was no reply; the air seemed empty.
There were no more whispering voices, no more mysterious rustlings.
Everything seemed to be dead--the Clos-Marie, with the Chevrotte, the
willows, the elm-trees in the Bishop’s garden, and the Cathedral itself.
Nothing remained of the dreams she had placed there; the white flight of
her friends in passing away left behind them only their sepulchre. She
was in agony at her powerlessness, disarmed, like a Christian of the
Primitive Church overcome by original sin, as soon as the aid of the
supernatural had departed. In the dull silence of this protected corner
she heard this evil inheritance come back, howling triumphant over
everything. If in ten minutes more no help came to her from figurative
forces, if things around her did not rouse up and sustain her, she would
certainly succumb and go to her ruin. “My God! My God! Why have You
abandoned me?” Still kneeling on her bed, slight and delicate, it seemed
to her as if she were dying.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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