Alcoholics -- Great Britain -- Fiction; Alcoholism -- Great Britain -- Fiction; Temperance -- Fiction
"I have only a very few words to say. I want what I say to remain in
your minds. I am speaking to you, as I am speaking, for that reason. I
beg and pray that this will be of help. You see--" he made an
infinitely pathetic gesture of his hands and a wan smile came upon his
face--"You see you will be able to use my confession for the sake of
others. That is the reason----"
Here Lothian stopped. His face became whiter than ever. His hand went
up to his throat as if there was some obstruction there.
Bishop Moultrie handed him a glass of water. He took it, with a hand
that trembled exceedingly. He drank a little but spilt more than he
drank.
The black clothed figure of the Priest half rose and took the glass
from the poet. All the people there sat very still. Some of them saw
the Priest hold up something before the speaker's face--a little bronze
something. A Crucifix.
The Bishop covered his face with his hands and never looked up again.
Gilbert went on. "You have come here," he said, "to make a combined
effort to kill alcoholism. I have come to show you in one single
instance what alcoholism means."
Some one right at the back of the hall gave a loud hysterical sob.
The speaker trembled, recovered himself by a great effort and went on.
"I had everything;" he said with difficulty, "God gave me everything,
almost. I had money to live in comfort; I achieved a certain sort of
fame; my life, my private life, was surrounded by the most angelic and
loving care."
His figure swayed, his voice fainted into a whisper.
Dr. Morton Sims had now covered his face with his hands.
Mrs. Julia Daly was staring at the speaker. Her eyes were just
interrogation. There was no horror upon her face. Her lips were parted.
The man continued.
"Drink," he said, "began in me, caught me up, twisted me, destroyed me.
The terrible False Ego, which many of you must know of, entered into my
mind, dominated, and destroyed it.
"I was possessed of a devil. All decent thoughts, all the natural
happinesses of my station, all the gifts and pleasant outlooks upon
life which God had given went, not gradually, but swiftly away.
Something that was not myself came into me and made me move, and walk,
and talk as a minion of hell.
"I do not know what measure of responsibility remained to me when I did
what I did. But this I know, that I have been and am the blackest, most
hideous criminal that lives to-day."
The man's voice was trembling dreadfully now, quite unconsciously his
left hand was gripping the shoulder of the Abbot of Mullion. His eyes
blazed, his voice was so forlorn, so hopeless and poignant that there
was not a sound among the several hundreds there.
"My lord,--" he turned to the Bishop with the very slightest
inclination of his head--"ladies and gentlemen, I killed my wife.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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