Alcoholics -- Great Britain -- Fiction; Alcoholism -- Great Britain -- Fiction; Temperance -- Fiction
"I know, but it's dangerous. You were splendidly right when you bade me
move from that garden just now. The road was waiting. It is so with
states of the soul. The limpet is the lowest of organisms. Movement is
everything. One life may seem to be like sunlight moving over sombre
ground and another like the shadow of a cloud traversing a sunlit
space. But both have meaning and value. Never strike an average and
imagine you have found content. The average life is nothing but a
pudding in a fog!"
Lothian had been talking very earnestly, his eyes full of light, fixed
on her eyes. And now, in a moment, he saw what had been there for many
minutes, he saw what he had roused.
He was startled.
During this delightful evening that side of their intercourse had not
been very present in his mind. She was a delightful flower, a flower
with a mind. It is summed up very simply. _He had never once wanted
to touch her._
His face changed and grew troubled. A new presence was there, a problem
rose where there had been none before. The realisation of her physical
loveliness and desirability came to him in a flood of new sensation.
The strong male impulse was alive and burning for the first time that
night.
A waiter had brought a silver dish of big peaches, and as she ate the
fruit there was that in her eyes which he recognised, though he knew
her mind was unconscious of it.
In the sudden stir and tumult of his thoughts, one became dominant.
It was an evil thought, perhaps the most subtle and the most evil that
can come to a man. The pride of intellect in its most gross and
devilish manifestation awoke.
He was not a vain man. He did not usually think much about his personal
appearance and charm. But he knew how changed in outward aspect he was
becoming. His glass told him that every morning at shaving time. His
vice was marking him. He was not what he was, not what he should and
might be, in a physical regard. And girls, he knew, were generally
attracted by physical good-looks in a man. Young Dickson Ingworth, for
instance, seemed able to pick and choose. Lothian had often laughed at
the boyish and conceited narratives of his prowess. And now, to the
older man came the realisation that his age, his growing corpulence,
need mean nothing at all--if he willed it so. A girl like this, a pearl
among maidens, could be dominated by his intellect. He knew that he was
not mistaken. Over a fool, however lovely and attractive by reason of
her sex, he would have no power. But here . . .
An allurement more dazzling than he had thought life held was suddenly
shown him.
There was an honest horror, a shudder and recoil of all the good in him
from this monstrous revelation, so sudden, so unexpected.
He shuddered and then found an instant compromise.
It could not concern _himself_, it never should. But it might be
regarded--just for a few brief moments!--from a detached point of view,
as if it had to do with some one else, some creation of a fiction or a
poem.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account