Romashov did not make the slightest reply, nor did he even turn his
head. And, besides, what answer could he make? Federovski had, most
certainly, a right to be furious. But the troops, the soldiers who heard
every single insulting word of the Adjutant's--what would they think?
Romashov felt at that moment a boundless hatred and contempt of
himself. "I am lost; I am dishonoured for ever. I'll shoot myself. Can I
suppose I am worthy to live! What am I? An insignificant, ridiculous,
contemptible wretch--a caricature, an ugly, disgusting, idiotic
creature. My own soldiers will laugh at me, and, behind my back, they
will make merry with nudges and secret signs, at my expense. Or,
perhaps, they will pity me. All the same, everything is lost, and
I--I'll shoot myself."
After passing the General, all the companies made a half-turn to the
left, and then went back to their original places, where they were
successively drawn up again and in open file. Whilst waiting for the
return of the last companies to march past, the men were allowed to
"stand easy," and the officers utilized the occasion to smoke a
cigarette and chat with one another. Only Romashov stood quite alone,
silent and motionless in front of his half company. He dug the earth
incessantly with the point of his sabre, and though he cast his eyes
down fixedly, he felt he was, on all sides, a mark for curious,
sarcastic, and contemptuous glances.
Captain Sliva purposely passed by Romashov without stopping except to
look at him, and spoke, as it were, to himself through his clenched
teeth, and in a voice hoarse and unrecognizable through hatred and
fury--
"Be good enough to send in to-day a request to be transferred to another
company."
A little while afterwards Viätkin came. In his kindly, frank glance and
the drawn corners of his mouth, Romashov read that expression of pity
and compassion with which people usually regard a dog that has been run
over and crushed in the street. And, at the same time, Romashov felt
with disgust that he had, half mechanically, twisted his mouth into an
unmeaning, pitiful smile.
"Yuri Alexievich," exclaimed Viätkin, "come and smoke a cigarette with
me," and with a click of the tongue and slightly throwing his head back,
he added in a despondent tone--
"Well, well, old chap!"
Romashov's chin and the corners of his mouth twitched, and a lump came
into his throat. Tears were not far off, and he replied in the faltering
and fretful voice of an aggrieved child--
"No, no; not now!--I don't want to!"
Viätkin withdrew.
"Suppose I were to go and give that fellow Sliva a bang on his ear,"
thought Romashov, buffeted here and there by his melancholy
introspections. "Or to go up to that grey-bearded General and say:
'Aren't you ashamed, at your age, to play with soldiers and torture men?
Release us from here instantly, and let us rest. For two long weeks the
soldiers have been ill-treated solely on account of you.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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