better off where he is now; he was too pure, too good for this world.
This gloomy, silent monologue forced tears from Romashov's eyes, but he
did not wipe them away. It was so delicious to imagine himself a martyr,
an innocent victim to the malignity of mankind.
He had now reached the white-beet field, the extensive surface of which
had an almost oppressive influence on Romashov. He climbed on to a
little hillock just beside the ravine in which the railway ran.
There he stood. This side of the ravine lay in deep shadow, but the
opposite one was so powerfully illuminated that one might fancy it
possible to distinguish every blade of grass. The ravine was very
precipitous near the place where Romashov was now standing, and at the
bottom of it the rails, worn bright by traffic, shone. Far away in the
field on the other side of the railway the white, pyramid-like tents
could be seen in even rows.
A little way down the slope of the ravine was a small platform. Romashov
glided down to it and sat on the grass. He felt nearly sick from hunger
and weariness, and his legs shook from exhaustion. The great deserted
field behind him, the air, clear and transparent in spite of the shades
of night, the dew-soaked grass--all was sunk in a deep, insidious,
luminous silence, the intensity of which was felt by Romashov like a
strong buzzing in his ear. Rarely indeed might be heard from a
locomotive manoeuvring at the railway station a shrill whistling
which, in the solemn stillness of the night, brought with it something
impetuous, impatient, and threatening.
Romashov laid himself on his back in the grass. The fleecy white clouds
right above him stood motionless, but over them the round moon glided
rapidly on in the dark firmament which, cold and bare and boundless,
riveted Romashov's gaze. All the illimitable space between earth and
heaven seemed to him fraught with eternal terror and eternal longing.
"There dwells--God," thought Romashov, and suddenly, with a naïve
outburst of sorrow, anger, and self-pity, he whispered passionately and
bitterly--
"God, why hast Thou turned Thy countenance from me? What offence can
I--a miserable worm, a grain of sand--have committed against Thee? Thou
art almighty, Thou art good, Thou seest and hearest everything--why hast
Thou suffered injustice and malice so to triumph over me?"
But instantly afterwards he was filled with alarm at his blasphemous
speech, and he went on to say in fervour and anguish--
"No, no; forgive and forget my sinful words. I know Thou art as wise as
Thou art merciful, and I shall never murmur any more. Do with me what
seems best in Thy sight. I will always submit to Thy will with gratitude
and a meek heart."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account