"Where were you going, my friend? what's the matter?" asked Romashov, in
his tenderest tone, and, without thinking, he put both his hands on the
soldier's shoulders. Khliabnikov stared at him out of his uninjured eye
with the wild look of one who had been frightened out of his wits, but
he turned away at once. His bleeding lips, welded together, slowly
opened with a soft, smacking sound, but all he could utter was a hoarse
rattle. Romashov suddenly experienced an intolerable feeling of
sickness, and he thought he felt in his chest and abdomen certain
symptoms which usually precede fainting.
"Has some one beaten you, eh? Tell me! Come and sit down beside me." He
pulled the soldier by the sleeve of his coat down to the ground.
Khliabnikov obediently collapsed, like a dummy fallen in a heap, and
sank noiselessly down on the damp grass beside Romashov.
"Where were you going?" asked the latter. Khliabnikov did not answer a
word where he sat, in a very unnatural and uncomfortable position, with
his legs straddling. Romashov noticed that his head sank slowly, with
scarcely perceptible little nods, on his chest. Again Romashov heard the
same short, hoarse, rattling sound, and his whole soul was filled by an
unspeakable pity. "Do I understand that you wanted to run away? Put on
your cap and listen, Khliabnikov. At this moment I am not your officer
or superior, but, like yourself, only a lonely, unlucky, ruined
creature. I can understand how hard and burdensome it is for you to
live, therefore speak to me frankly, tell me all. Perhaps you meant to
kill yourself?" he added in a hollow, whispering tone.
A gurgling noise was again heard in the soldier's throat, but not a word
passed his lips. At the same moment Romashov noticed that his companion
in misfortune was shaking from head to foot as if from a chill, and he
was himself now attacked by an unconquerable terror. This sleepless
night passed in feverish excitement; this feeling of loneliness and
desertion; the moon's unchangeable, oppressive, cold gleam; the ravine's
black depth beneath his feet; the dumb, cruelly maltreated soldier at
his side--all this seemed to him like a mad, insufferable dream--one of
those dreams that are wont to herald the approach of death. But directly
afterwards he was again seized by the same infinite pity for the
unfortunate victim beside him, and it was clear to him at once how petty
and insignificant was his own sorrow in comparison with Khliabnikov's
cruel fate. With sincere tenderness he threw his arm round the soldier's
neck, drew him forcibly to him, and said, with the warmth that belongs
to conviction--
"Khliabnikov, you find life unsupportable, but, my friend, believe me,
even I am an exceedingly unhappy man. The whole world wherein I live is
to me a puzzle. Everything is so savage, cruel, and senseless. However,
one must be patient, one must learn to suffer."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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