The boat glided gently over the calm, open, mirroring surface of the
river, which was garlanded round by the tall, dark green, motionless
reeds. The little vessel was, as it were, hidden from the whole world.
Over it hovered, now and then uttering a scream, the white gulls,
occasionally so closely that, as they almost brushed Romashov with the
tips of their wings, they made him feel the breeze arising from their
strong, swift flights. Nasanski lay on his back in the stern of the boat
and kept staring, for a long time, at the bright sky, where a few golden
clouds sailing gently by had already begun to change to rose colour.
Romashov said in a shy tone:
"Are you tired? Oh, keep on talking."
It seemed as if Nasanski continued to think and dream aloud when he once
more picked up the threads of his monologue.
"Yes, a new, glorious, and wonderful time is at hand. I venture to say
this, for I myself have lived a good deal in the world, read, seen,
experienced, and suffered much. When I was a schoolboy, the old crows
and jackdaws croaked into our ears: 'Love your neighbour as yourself,
and know that gentleness, obedience, and the fear of God are man's
fairest adornments.' Then came certain strong, honest, fanatical men who
said: 'Come and join us, and we'll throw ourselves into the abyss so
that the coming race shall live in light and freedom.' But I never
understood a word of this. Who do you suppose is going to show me, in a
convincing way, in what manner I am linked to this 'neighbour' of
mine--damn him! who, you know, may be a miserable slave, a Hottentot, a
leper, or an idiot? Of all the holy legends there is none which I hate
and despise with my whole soul so much as that of John the Almoner.[22]
The leper says: 'I am shivering with cold; lie beside me in my bed and
warm my body with thy limbs. Lay thy lips close to my fetid mouth and
breathe on me!' Oh, how disgusting! How I hate this victim of leprosy,
and, for the matter of that, also all other similar choice examples of
my 'neighbour.' Can any reasonable being tell me why I should crush my
head so that the generation in the year 3200 may attain a higher
standard of happiness? Be quiet! I, too, once upon a time, sympathized
with the silly, babyish cackle about 'the world-soul,' 'man's sacred
duty,' etc. But even if these high-falutin phrases did find a place then
in my brain, they never forced their way into my heart. Do you follow
me, Romashov?"
Romashov looked at Nasanski with a mixture of gratitude and shame.
"I understand you fully. When I come to 'send in my checks' and die,
then the universe dies with me. That's what you meant, eh?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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