Of this sense of expectation through all the universe (and of my regret
still to be alive) one is the sign and the other the expression. One
is Duration itself, and the other--suddenly sonorous--marks a moment.
One measures silence, the other probes obscurity. One solicits me and
the other fascinates me. Oh sentinel, oh bitter patience,--double
vigilance! While one flames, the other apportions.
The night takes away our witnesses, we no longer know where we are.
Lines and tints, our personal arrangement of the world all around us
(whose center we carry about with us, according to the angle from which
our eye gazes at the moment), these are no longer present to show us
our position. We are reduced to ourselves. Our vision has no longer
the visible for limit, but the invisible for its cell. Homogeneous,
close, impassive, compact, in the bosom of this obscurity the lamp is
clear and definite. It appears full of life, it contains its own oil.
By virtue of its flame it is able to drink itself. It attests that
of which all the abyss is the absence. As it has taken a sufficient
supply in the evening, it will last until rosy light is in the sky,
until the dispersing of vapors like the fumes of new wine. It has a
golden provision to last till dawn. As for me, let me not die in the
night! Let me endure until the day! Let me not be extinguished except
in light!
But if the night closes our eyes, it is in order that we may listen
the more. Not only with the ears, but with the hearing of our
soul--breathing as fishes do. Something accumulates, in the darkness:
a number that must be sounded. I hear the bell, like the necessity for
speech, like our inner silence summarized, like the Word speaking in
secret. During the day we hear a whirlpool of ceaseless words weaving
through the activities of human beings. The night extinguishes them,
and only the measuring of Time remains. (I see, I listen). What does
this clock apportion? What is measured? What strikes? What is Time?
Here, to betray it, is the artifice of hourglass and clepsydra; the
snare of a clock forces the hour to declare itself. I see it; the
duration of time is reported to me; I am ruled by this march of time
and of all the hours. I have my escape, I contain the creative pulse;
outside of me the blow which suddenly resounds declares all the hidden
effort of my heart, the motor and the worker in my body.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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