The Education of Catholic GirlsStuart, Janet Erskine
Religion
The Education of Catholic Girls
Stuart, Janet Erskine
Catholic Church -- Education; Women -- Education
Up and down its burning cage the many-facultied and mightily
intelligenced spirit wastes its excruciating immortality in varying and
ever varying still, always beginning and monotonously completing, like a
caged beast upon its iron tether, a threefold movement, which is not
three movements successively, but one triple movement all at once. In
rage it would fain get at God to seize Him, dethrone Him, murder Him,
and destroy Him; in agony it would fain suffocate its own interior
thirst for God, which parches and burns it with all the frantic horrors
of a perfectly self-possessed frenzy; and in fury it would fain break
its tight fetters of gnawing fire which pin down its radical love of the
beautiful Sovereign Good, and drag it ever back with cruel wrench from
its desperate propension to its uncreated Centre. In the mingling of
these three efforts it lives its life of endless horrors. Portentous as
is the vehemence with which it shoots forth its imprecations against
God, they fall faint and harmless, far short of His tranquil,
song-surrounded throne.
Pour views of its own hideous state revolve around the lost soul, like
the pictures of some ghastly show. One while it sees the million times
ten million genera and species of pains of sense which meet and form a
loathsome union with this vast central pain of loss. Another while all
the multitude of graces, the countless kind providences, which it has
wasted pass before it, and generate that undying worm of remorse of
which Our Saviour speaks. Then comes a keen but joyless view, a
calculation, but only a bankrupt's calculation, of the possibility of
gains for ever forfeited, of all the grandeur and ocean-like vastness of
the bliss which it has lost. Last of all comes before it the immensity
of God, to it so unconsoling and so unprofitable; it is not a picture,
it is only a formless shadow, yet it knows instinctively that it is God.
With a cry that should be heard creation through, it rushes upon Him,
and it knocks itself, spirit as it is, against material terrors. It
clasps the shadow of God, and, lo! it embraces keen flames. It runs up
to Him but it has encountered only fearful demons. It leaps the length
of its chain after Him, but it has only dashed into an affrighting crowd
of lost and cursed souls. Thus is it ever writhing under the sense of
being its own executioner. Thus there is not an hour of our summer
sunshine, not a moment of our sweet starlight, not a vibration of our
moonlit groves, not an undulation of odorous air from our flowerbeds,
not a pulse of delicious sound from music or song to us, but that
hapless unpitiable soul is ever falling sick afresh of the overwhelming
sense that all around it is eternal.
EXTRACT FROM "THE CREATOR AND THE CREATURE."
BY FATHER FABER.
BOOK II. CH. V.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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