The Eichhofs: A RomanceBethusy-Huc, Valeska, Gräfin von
General
The Eichhofs: A Romance
Bethusy-Huc, Valeska, Gräfin von
German fiction -- Translations into English
Through all these days Thea was so touching and yet so dignified in her
sorrow, that Bernhard knew, as he had never known before, how truly
she, and she alone, was the only woman whom he could ever love. In
spite of her suffering she found time to attend to his lightest wish.
He felt himself surrounded by her love, and yet he met with the same
gentle but firm repulse whenever he sought to approach her. His sorrow
for his child was scarcely more keen than his sorrow for the loss of
his wife. For that he had lost her was now clearer to him than ever;
and yet, strangely enough, he doubted more strongly every day whether
the cause of this loss was what he had hitherto supposed it to be. When
he saw her performing her duties so quietly, bearing her pain so
proudly and yet with such true womanliness, it seemed to him impossible
that she could ever have been other than proud and womanly. He began to
scrutinize himself and his conduct towards her, and to have doubts
whether the fault were not, after all, his own. But then he thought of
Lothar's death, of her refusal to answer his question, and of the total
change in her manner towards him from that time. Would she have agreed
to the letter he had written her then, if she were not guilty? Would
she not have eagerly sought an explanation with him had she been
innocent, instead of mutely avoiding it as she had done?
This was the state of affairs when, a few days after the child's
funeral, Thea entered his room. Since Lothar's death she had never done
so, and Bernhard, therefore, received her with surprise, and almost
with alarm; for he instantly saw by her face that the coming hour would
be decisive for them both. She seated herself in the armchair he placed
for her, and looked down at her hands, which were clasped in her lap.
There was no ring upon them.
It went to Bernhard's heart to observe that she had laid aside her
betrothal-ring, and yet he knew that so it must be.
He had not the courage to begin the conversation, and, after a pause,
she said, in a low tone, "I am come to remind you of that letter,--of
the letter in which you expressed your views of our relation to each
other. Our child is dead----" Her voice was choked for an instant, but
she went on: "There is nothing now to unite us. I propose going to
Schönthal to-morrow."
He sat opposite her, his head leaning on his hand. "Can you not stay,
then?" he asked, gently.
She rose proudly, her self-possession entirely recovered. "No," she
cried, "I will not be endured out of pity!"
Bernhard rose in his turn, and looked her full in the face. "Pity?" he
repeated. "What do you mean, Thea?"
"I mean that you are sorry for me, that you think it will be hard for
me to leave the place where my child lies in his grave, the house in
which he was born. But I have borne heavier griefs, and I can bear that
too; and, although I know that your happiness does not depend alone
upon _your_ freedom, I am too proud to remain where I am only endured!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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