CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Ah! here come the Envoys from Sparta with their long flowing beards; why, you would think they wore a cage[459] between their thighs. (_Enter the Lacedaemonian Envoys._) Hail to you, first of all, Laconians; then tell us how you fare. A LACONIAN. No need for many words; you see what a state we are in. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Alas! the situation grows more and more strained! the intensity of the thing is just frightful. LACONIAN. 'Tis beyond belief. But to work! summon your Commissioners, and let us patch up the best peace we may. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Ah! our men too, like wrestlers in the arena, cannot endure a rag over their bellies; 'tis an athlete's malady, which only exercise can remedy. AN ATHENIAN. Can anybody tell us where Lysistrata is? Surely she will have some compassion on our condition. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Look! 'tis the very same complaint. (_Addressing the Athenian._) Don't you feel of mornings a strong nervous tension? ATHENIAN. Yes, and a dreadful, dreadful torture it is! Unless peace is made very soon, we shall find no resource but to fuck Clisthenes.[460] CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Take my advice, and put on your clothes again; one of the fellows who mutilated the Hermae[461] might see you. ATHENIAN. You are right. LACONIAN. Quite right. There, I will slip on my tunic. ATHENIAN. Oh! what a terrible state we are in! Greeting to you, Laconian fellow-sufferers. LACONIAN (_addressing one of his countrymen_). Ah! my boy, what a thing it would have been if these fellows had seen us just now when our tools were on full stand! ATHENIAN. Speak out, Laconians, what is it brings you here? LACONIAN. We have come to treat for peace. ATHENIAN. Well said; we are of the same mind. Better call Lysistrata then; she is the only person will bring us to terms. LACONIAN. Yes, yes--and Lysistratus into the bargain, if you will. CHORUS OF OLD MEN. Needless to call her; she has heard your voices, and here she comes. ATHENIAN. Hail, boldest and bravest of womankind! The time is come to show yourself in turn uncompromising and conciliatory, exacting and yielding, haughty and condescending. Call up all your skill and artfulness. Lo! the foremost men in Hellas, seduced by your fascinations, are agreed to entrust you with the task of ending their quarrels.