Aristophanes -- Translations into English; Athens (Greece) -- Drama; Comedy plays; Greek drama (Comedy) -- Translations into English
STREPSIADES. Rightly! oh! what impudence! to me, who brought you up! when
you could hardly lisp, I guessed what you wanted. If you said _broo,
broo_, well, I brought you your milk; if you asked for _mam mam_, I gave
you bread; and you had no sooner said, _caca_, than I took you outside
and held you out. And just now, when you were strangling me, I shouted, I
bellowed that I would let all go; and you, you scoundrel, had not the
heart to take me outside, so that here, though almost choking, I was
compelled to ease myself.
CHORUS. Young men, your hearts must be panting with impatience. What is
Phidippides going to say? If, after such conduct, he proves he has done
well, I would not give an obolus for the hide of old men. Come, you, who
know how to brandish and hurl the keen shafts of the new science, find a
way to convince us, give your language an appearance of truth.
PHIDIPPIDES. How pleasant it is to know these clever new inventions and
to be able to defy the established laws! When I thought only about
horses, I was not able to string three words together without a mistake,
but now that the master has altered and improved me and that I live in
this world of subtle thought, of reasoning and of meditation, I count on
being able to prove satisfactorily that I have done well to thrash my
father.
STREPSIADES. Mount your horse! By Zeus! I would rather defray the keep of
a four-in-hand team than be battered with blows.
PHIDIPPIDES. I revert to what I was saying when you interrupted me. And
first, answer me, did you beat me in my childhood?
STREPSIADES. Why, assuredly, for your good and in your own best interest.
PHIDIPPIDES. Tell me, is it not right, that in turn I should beat you for
your good? since it is for a man's own best interest to be beaten. What!
must your body be free of blows, and not mine? am I not free-born too?
the children are to weep and the fathers go free?
STREPSIADES. But...
PHIDIPPIDES. You will tell me, that according to the law, 'tis the lot of
children to be beaten. But I reply that the old men are children twice
over and that it is far more fitting to chastise them than the young, for
there is less excuse for their faults.
STREPSIADES. But the law nowhere admits that fathers should be treated
thus.
PHIDIPPIDES. Was not the legislator who carried this law a man like you
and me? In those days he got men to believe him; then why should not I
too have the right to establish for the future a new law, allowing
children to beat their fathers in turn? We make you a present of all the
blows which were received before this law, and admit that you thrashed us
with impunity. But look how the cocks and other animals fight with their
fathers; and yet what difference is there betwixt them and ourselves,
unless it be that they do not propose decrees?
STREPSIADES. But if you imitate the cocks in all things, why don't you
scratch up the dunghill, why don't you sleep on a perch?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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