HERMES. Oh! impudent, shameless rascal! oh! scoundrel! triple scoundrel! the greatest scoundrel in the world! how did you come here? Oh! scoundrel of all scoundrels! your name? Reply. TRYGAEUS. Triple scoundrel. HERMES. Your country? TRYGAEUS. Triple scoundrel. HERMES. Your father? TRYGAEUS. My father? Triple scoundrel. HERMES. By the Earth, you shall die, unless you tell me your name. TRYGAEUS. I am Trygaeus of the Athmonian deme, a good vine-dresser, little addicted to quibbling and not at all an informer. HERMES. Why do you come? TRYGAEUS. I come to bring you this meat. HERMES. Ah! my good friend, did you have a good journey? TRYGAEUS. Glutton, be off! I no longer seem a triple scoundrel to you. Come, call Zeus. HERMES. Ah! ah! you are a long way yet from reaching the gods, for they moved yesterday. TRYGAEUS. To what part of the earth? HERMES. Eh! of the earth, did you say? TRYGAEUS. In short, where are they then? HERMES. Very far, very far, right at the furthest end of the dome of heaven. TRYGAEUS. But why have they left you all alone here? HERMES. I am watching what remains of the furniture, the little pots and pans, the bits of chairs and tables, and odd wine-jars. TRYGAEUS. And why have the gods moved away? HERMES. Because of their wrath against the Greeks. They have located War in the house they occupied themselves and have given him full power to do with you exactly as he pleases; then they went as high up as ever they could, so as to see no more of your fights and to hear no more of your prayers. TRYGAEUS. What reason have they for treating us so? HERMES. Because they have afforded you an opportunity for peace more than once, but you have always preferred war. If the Laconians got the very slightest advantage, they would exclaim, "By the Twin Brethren! the Athenians shall smart for this." If, on the contrary, the latter triumphed and the Laconians came with peace proposals, you would say, "By Demeter, they want to deceive us. No, by Zeus, we will not hear a word; they will always be coming as long as we hold Pylos."[274] TRYGAEUS. Yes, that is quite the style our folk do talk in. HERMES. So that I don't know whether you will ever see Peace again. TRYGAEUS. Why, where has she gone to then? HERMES. War has cast her into a deep pit. TRYGAEUS. Where? HERMES. Down there, at the very bottom. And you see what heaps of stones he has piled over the top, so that you should never pull her out again. TRYGAEUS. Tell me, what is War preparing against us? HERMES. All I know is that last evening he brought along a huge mortar. TRYGAEUS. And what is he going to do with his mortar? HERMES. He wants to pound up all the cities of Greece in it.... But I must say good-bye, for I think he is coming out; what an uproar he is making! TRYGAEUS. Ah! great gods! let us seek safety; meseems I already hear the noise of this fearful war mortar.