EURIPIDES. Oh! I am unfortunate indeed! I am undone! MNESILOCHUS. Euripides, my friend, my son-in-law, never despair. EURIPIDES. What can be done? MNESILOCHUS. Send him to the devil and do with me as you like. EURIPIDES. Very well then, since you devote yourself to my safety, take off your cloak first. MNESILOCHUS. There, it lies on the ground. But what do you want to do with me? EURIPIDES. To shave off this beard of yours, and to remove your hair below as well. MNESILOCHUS. Do what you think fit; I yield myself entirely to you. EURIPIDES. Agathon, you have always razors about you; lend me one. AGATHON. Take if yourself, there, out of that case. EURIPIDES. Thanks. Sit down and puff out the right cheek. MNESILOCHUS. Oh! oh! oh! EURIPIDES. What are you shouting for? I'll cram a spit down your gullet, if you're not quiet. MNESILOCHUS. Oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! oh! (_He springs up and starts running away._) EURIPIDES. Where are you running to now? MNESILOCHUS. To the temple of the Eumenides.[563] No, by Demeter I won't let myself be gashed like that. EURIPIDES. But you will get laughed at, with your face half-shaven like that. MNESILOCHUS. Little care I. EURIPIDES. In the gods' names, don't leave me in the lurch. Come here. MNESILOCHUS. Oh! by the gods! (_Resumes his seat._) EURIPIDES. Keep still and hold up your head. Why do you want to fidget about like this? MNESILOCHUS. Mu, mu. EURIPIDES. Well! why, mu, mu? There! 'tis done and well done too! MNESILOCHUS Ah! great god! It makes me feel quite light. EURIPIDES. Don't worry yourself; you look charming. Do you want to see yourself? MNESILOCHUS. Aye, that I do; hand the mirror here. EURIPIDES. Do you see yourself? MNESILOCHUS. But this is not I, it is Clisthenes![564] EURIPIDES. Stand up; I am now going to remove your hair. Bend down. MNESILOCHUS. Alas! alas! they are going to grill me like a pig. EURIPIDES. Come now, a torch or a lamp! Bend down and take care of the tender end of your tail! MNESILOCHUS. Aye, aye! but I'm afire! oh! oh! Water, water, neighbour, or my rump will be alight! EURIPIDES. Keep up your courage! MNESILOCHUS. Keep my courage, when I'm being burnt up? EURIPIDES. Come, cease your whining, the worst is over. MNESILOCHUS. Oh! it's quite black, all burnt below there all about the hole! EURIPIDES. Don't worry! that will be washed off with a sponge. MNESILOCHUS. Woe to him who dares to wash my rump! EURIPIDES. Agathon, you refuse to devote yourself to helping me; but at any rate lend me a tunic and a belt. You cannot say you have not got them. AGATHON. Take them and use them as you like; I consent. MNESILOCHUS. What must be taken? EURIPIDES. What must be taken? First put on this long saffron-coloured robe. MNESILOCHUS. By Aphrodité! what a sweet odour! how it smells of a man's genitals![565] Hand it me quickly. And the belt? EURIPIDES. Here it is. MNESILOCHUS. Now some rings for my legs. EURIPIDES. You still want a hair-net and a head-dress.