Aristophanes -- Translations into English; Athens (Greece) -- Drama; Comedy plays; Greek drama (Comedy) -- Translations into English
HERMES. Would you do a friend a service?
CARIO. Willingly, if I can.
HERMES. Give me some well-baked bread and a big hunk of the victims they
are sacrificing in your house.
CARIO. That would be stealing.
HERMES. Do you forget, then, how I used to take care he knew nothing
about it when you were stealing something from your master?
CARIO. Because I used to share it with you, you rogue; some cake or other
always came your way.
HERMES. Which afterwards you ate up all by yourself.[804]
CARIO. But then you did not share the blows when I was caught.
HERMES. Forget past injuries, now you have taken Phylé.[805] Ah! how I
should like to live with you! Take pity and receive me.
CARIO. You would leave the gods to stop here?
HERMES. One is much better off among you.
CARIO. What! you would desert! Do you think that is honest?
HERMES. "Where I live well, there is my country."[806]
CARIO. But how could we employ you here?
HERMES. Place me near the door; I am the watchman god and would shift off
the robbers.
CARIO. Shift off! Ah! but we have no love for shifts.
HERMES. Entrust me with business dealings.
CARIO. But we are rich; why should we keep a haggling Hermes?
HERMES. Let me intrigue for you.[807]
CARIO. No, no, intrigues are forbidden; we believe in good faith.
HERMES. I will work for you as a guide.
CARIO. But the god sees clearly now, so we no longer want a guide.
HERMES. Well then, I will preside over the games. Ah! what can you object
to in that? Nothing is fitter for Plutus than to give scenic and
gymnastic games.[808]
CARIO. How useful 'tis to have so many names! Here you have found the
means of earning your bread. I don't wonder the jurymen so eagerly try to
get entered for many tribunals.[809]
HERMES. So then, you admit me on these terms.
CARIO. Go and wash the entrails of the victims at the well, so that you
may show yourself serviceable at once.
A PRIEST OF ZEUS. Can anyone direct me where Chremylus is?
CHREMYLUS. What would you with him, friend?
PRIEST. Much ill. Since Plutus has recovered his sight, I am perishing of
starvation; I, the priest of Zeus the Deliverer, have nothing to eat!
CHREMYLUS. And what is the cause of that, pray?
PRIEST. No one dreams of offering sacrifices.
CHREMYLUS. Why not?
PRIEST. Because all men are rich. Ah! when they had nothing, the merchant
who escaped from shipwreck, the accused who was acquitted, all immolated
victims; another would sacrifice for the success of some wish and the
priest joined in at the feast; but now there is not the smallest victim,
not one of the faithful in the temple, but thousands who come there to
ease themselves.
CHREMYLUS. Don't you take your share of those offerings?
PRIEST. Hence I think I too am going to say good-bye to Zeus the
Deliverer, and stop here myself.
CHREMYLUS. Be at ease, all will go well, if it so please the god. Zeus
the Deliverer[810] is here; he came of his own accord.
PRIEST. Ha! that's good news.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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