"Rather pertly, I'm afraid. He was silly enough to ask me what I
thought of his book, though I hadn't mentioned it. I put on my superior
air and snubbed him; it was like tapping a frog on the head each time
it pokes up out of the water. He will go about and say what an
insufferable person that Mrs. Elgar is."
Reuben was silent for a while.
"I don't like your associating with such people," he said suddenly. "I
wish you didn't go there. It's all very well for a woman like your aunt
to gather about her all the disreputable men and women who claim to be
of some account, but they are not fit companions for you. I don't like
it at all."
She looked at him in astonishment, with bewildered eyes, that were on
the verge of laughter.
"What _are_ you talking about, Reuben?"
"I'm quite serious." He rose and began to walk about the room. "And it
surprised me that you didn't think of staying at home this evening. I
said nothing, because I wanted to see whether it would occur to you
that you oughtn't to go alone."
"How should such a thing occur to me? Surely I am as much at home in
aunt's house as in my own? I can hardly believe that you mean what you
say."
"You will understand it if you think for a moment. A year ago you
wouldn't have dreamt of going out at night when I stayed at home. But
you find the temptation of society irresistible. People admire you and
talk about you and crowd round you, and you enjoy it--never mind who
the people are. Presently we shall be seeing your portrait in the
shop-windows. I noticed what a satisfaction it was to you when your
name was mentioned among the other people in that idiotic society
journal."
Cecily laughed, but not quite so naturally as she wished it to sound.
"This is too absurd Your dream has unsettled your wits, Reuben. How
could I imagine that you had begun to think of me in such a light? You
used to give me credit for at least average common sense. I can't talk
about it; I am ashamed to defend myself."
He had not spoken angrily, but in a curiously dogged tone, with awkward
emphasis, as if struggling to say what did not come naturally to his
lips. Still walking about, and keeping his eyes on the floor, he
continued in the same half-embarrassed way:
"There's no need for you to defend yourself. I don't exactly mean to
blame you, but to point out a danger."
"Forgetting that you degrade my character in doing so."
"Nothing of the kind, Cecily. But remember how young you are. You know
very little of the world, and often see things in an ideal light. It is
your tendency to idealize. You haven't the experience necessary to a
woman who goes about in promiscuous society."
Cecily knitted her brows.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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