"Each time that I have been in Rome," said Mallard, "I have felt, after
the first few days, a peculiar mental calm. The other cities of Italy
haven't the same effect on me. Perhaps every one experiences it, more
or less. There comes back to me at moments the kind of happiness which
I knew as a boy--a freedom from the sense of duties and
responsibilities, of work to be done, and of disagreeable things to be
faced; the kind of contentment I used to have when I was reading lives
of artists, or looking at prints of famous pictures, or myself trying
to draw. It is possible that this mood is not such a strange one with
many people as with me, when it comes, I feel grateful to the powers
that rule life Since boyhood, I have never known it in the north. Out
of Rome, perhaps only in fine weather on the Mediterranean. But in Rome
is its perfection."
"I thought you preferred the north," said Miriam.
"Because I so often choose to work there? I can do better work when I
take subjects in wild scenery and stern climates, but when my thoughts
go out for pleasure, they choose Italy. I don't enjoy myself in the
Hebrides or in Norway, but what powers I have are all brought out
there. Here I am not disposed to work. I want to live, and I feel that
life can be a satisfaction in itself without labour. I am naturally the
idlest of men. Work is always pain to me. I like to dream pictures; but
it's terrible to drag myself before the blank canvas."
Miriam gazed at the Tiber.
"Do these palaces," he asked, "ever make you wish you owned them? Did
you ever imagine yourself walking among the marbles and the pictures
with the sense of this being your home?"
"I have wondered what that must be. But I never wished it had fallen to
my lot."
"No? You are not ambitious?"
"Not in that way. To own a palace such as this would make one
insignificant."
"That is admirably true! I should give it away, to recover
self-respect. Shakespeare or Michael Angelo might live here and make it
subordinate to him; I should be nothing but the owner of the palace.
You like to feel your individuality?"
"Who does not?"
"In you, I think, it is strong."
Miriam smiled a little, as if she liked the compliment. Before either
spoke again, other visitors came to look at the view, and disturbed
them.
"I shan't ask you to come anywhere to-morrow," said Mallard, when they
had again talked for awhile of pictures. "And the next day Mrs. Elgar
will be here."
She looked at him.
"That wouldn't prevent me from going to a gallery--if you thought of
it."
"You will have much to talk of. And your stay in Rome won't be long
after that."
Miriam made no reply.
"I wish your brother had been coming," he went on. "I should have liked
to hear from him about the book he is writing."
"Shall you not be in London before long?" she asked, without show of
much interest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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