"A friend. It is something important. I'll tell you another time."
"Tell me now. Your sister is more to you than a friend. I ask you to
stay with me, Reuben."
In his haste, he did not understand how great an effort over herself
such words as these implied. The egoist rarely is moved to wonder at
unusual demonstrations made on his own behalf. Miriam was holding his
hand firmly, but he broke away. Then he turned back, took her in his
arms, and kissed her more tenderly than he ever had done since he was a
child. Miriam had a smile of hope, but only for a moment. After all, he
was gone.
CHAPTER XI
IN DUE COURSE
A change of trains, and half an hour's delay, at Manchester, then on
through Lancashire civilization, through fumes and evil smells and
expanses of grey-built hideousness, as far as the station called
Bartles.
Miriam remarked novelties as she alighted. The long wooden platform,
which used to be almost bare, was now in part sheltered by a structure
of iron and glass. There was a bookstall. Porters were more numerous.
The old stationmaster still bustled about; he recognized her with a
stare of curiosity, but did not approach to speak, as formerly he would
have done. Miriam affected not to observe him; he had been wont to sit
in the same chapel with her.
The wooden stairs down into the road were supplanted by steps of stone,
and below waited several cabs, instead of the two she remembered. "To
Redbeck House." The local odours were, at all events, the same as ever;
with what intensity they revived the past! Every well-known object,
every familiar face, heightened the intolerable throbbing of her heart;
so that at length she drew herself into a corner of the cab and looked
at nothing.
In the house itself nothing was new; even the servants were the same
Miriam had left there. Mrs. Fletcher lived precisely the life of three
and a half years ago, down to the most trivial habit; used the same
phrases, wore the same kind of dress. To Miriam everything seemed
unreal, visionary; her own voice sounded strange, for it was out of
harmony with this resuscitated world. She went up to the room prepared
for her, and tried to shake off the nightmare oppression. The
difficulty was to keep a natural consciousness of her own identity.
Above all, the scents in the air disturbed her, confused her mind,
forced her to think in forgotten ways about the things on which her
eyes fell.
The impressions of every moment were disagreeable, now and then acutely
painful. To what purpose had she faced this experience? She might have
foreseen what the result would be, and her presence here was
unnecessary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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