"I have just had a note from Zillah Denyer, about Madeline. She merely
mentions that you are no longer there."
"I ought to go and see them; but I can't to-day."
"Have you been in London all the time?"
"Yes.--I have gone back to my husband."
It was spoken in a matter-of-fact tone (obviously assumed) which was
very incongruous with the feeling it excited in Cecily. She could not
hear the announcement without an astonished look.
"Of your own free will?" she asked, in a diffident voice. "Oh yes. That
is to say, he persuaded me."
Their eyes met, and Cecily had an impulse of distrust, more decided
than she had ever felt. She could not find anything to say, and by
keeping silence she hoped the interview might be shortened.
"You are disposed to feel contempt for me," Mrs. Travis added, after a
few moments.
"No one can judge another in such things. It is your own affair, Mrs.
Travis."
"Yes, but you despise me for my weakness, naturally you do. Had you no
suspicion that it would end again in this way?"
"I simply believed what you told me."
"That nothing would induce me to return to him. That is how women talk,
you know. We are all very much the same."
Again Cecily kept silence. Mrs. Travis, observing her, saw an offended
look rise to her face.
"I mean, we are few of us, us women, strong enough to hold out against
natural and social laws. We feel indignant, we suffer more than men can
imagine, but we have to yield. But it is true that most women are wise
enough not to act in my way. You are quite right to despise me."
"Why do you repeat that? It is possible you are acting quite rightly.
How should I be able to judge?"
"I am not acting rightly," said the other, with bitterness. "Two
courses are open to a woman in my position. Either she must suffer in
silence, care nothing for the world's talk, take it for granted that,
at any cost, she remains under her husband's roof; or she must leave
him once and for ever, and regard herself as a free woman. The first is
the ordinary choice; most women are forced into it by circumstances;
very few have courage and strength for the second. But to do first one
thing, then the other, to be now weak and now strong, to yield to the
world one day and defy it the next, and then to yield again,--that is
base. Such a woman is a traitor to her sex."
Cecily did not lift her eyes. She heard the speaker's voice tremble,
and could not bear to look at her face. Her heart was sinking, though
she knew not exactly what oppressed her. There was a long silence; then
Cecily spoke.
"If your husband persuaded you to return, it must have been that you
still have affection for him."
"The feeling is not worthy of that name."
"That is for yourself to determine. Why should we talk of it?"
Looking up, Cecily found the other's eyes again fixed on her. It was as
though this strange gaze were meant to be a reply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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