He worked himself into a sense of being grossly injured. The shame he
had suffered in this morning's interviews was now a mortification. What
had _he_ to do with vulgar rules and vulgar judgments? By what right
did these people pose as his superiors and look contemptuous rebuke?
His anger concentrated itself on Cecily; the violence of jealousy and
the brute instinct of male prerogative plied his brain to frenzy as the
minutes dragged on. Where had she passed the night? How durst she
absent herself from home, and keep him in these tortures of expectation?
At a few minutes past one she came. The library door was ajar, and he
heard her admit herself with a latch-key; she would see his hat and
gloves in the hall. But instead of coming to the library she went
straight upstairs; it was Cecily, for he knew her step. Almost
immediately he followed. She did not stop at the drawing-room; he
followed, and came up with her at the bedroom door. Still she paid no
attention, but went in and took off her hat.
"Where have you been since yesterday afternoon?" he asked, when he had
slammed the door.
Cecily looked at him with offended surprise--almost as she might have
regarded an insolent servant.
"What right have you to question me in such a tone?"
"Never mind my tone, but answer me."
"What right have you to question me at all?"
"Every right, so long as you choose to remain in my house."
"You oblige me to remind you that the house is at least as much mine as
yours. For what am I beholden to you? If it comes to the bare question
of rights between us, I must meet you with arguments as coarse as your
own. Do you suppose I can pretend, now, to acknowledge any authority in
you? I am just as free as you are, and I owe you no account of myself."
Physical exhaustion had made her incapable of self-control. She had
anticipated anything but such an address as this with which Elgar
presented himself. The insult was too shameless; it rendered impossible
the cold dignity she had purposed.
"What do you mean by 'free'?" he asked, less violently.
"Everything that you yourself understand by it. I am accountable to no
one but myself. If I have allowed you to think that I held the old
belief of a woman's subjection to her husband, you must learn that that
is at an end. I owe no more obedience to you than you do to me."
"I ask no obedience. All I want to know is, whether it is possible for
us to live under the same roof or not."
Cecily made no reply. Her anger had involved her in an inconsistency,
yet she was not so far at the mercy of blind impulses as to right
herself by taking the very course she had recognized as impossible.
"That entirely depends," added Elgar, "on whether you choose to explain
your absence last night."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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