"Miriam, there's one thing you will tell me; you won't refuse to. Is
she still living alone?"
"Yes."
"Then there is still hope for me. I must go back to her, Miriam.
No--listen to me! That is my one and only hope. If I lose that, I lose
everything. Down and down, lower and lower into bestial life--that's my
fate, unless she saves me from it. Won't you help me? Go and speak to
her for me, dear sister, you can't refuse me that. Tell her how
helpless I am, and implore her to save me, only out of pity. I don't
care how mean it makes me in your eyes or hers; I have no self-respect
left, nor courage--nothing but a desire to go back to her and ask her
to forgive me."
Miriam could scarcely speak for shame and distress.
"It is impossible, Reuben. Be man enough to face what you have brought
on yourself. Have you no understanding left? With her, there is no hope
for you. She and you are no mates; you can only wreck each other's
lives. Surely, surely you know this by now! She could only confirm your
ruin, strive with you as she might; you would fall again into hateful
falsity. Forget her, begin a life without thought of her, and you may
still save yourself--yourself; no one else can save you. Begin the
struggle alone, manlike. You have no choice but to do so."
"I tell you I can't live without her. Where is she? I will go myself--"
"You will never know from me. What right have you to ask her to sink
with you? That's what it means. There are people who think that a
wife's obligation has no bounds, that she _must_ sink, if her husband
choose to demand it. Let those believe it who will. What motive should
render such a sacrifice possible to her? You know she cannot love you.
Pity? How can she pity you in such a sense as to degrade herself for
your sake? Neither you nor she nor I hold the creed that justifies such
martyrdom. Am _I_ to teach you such things? Shame! Have the courage of
your convictions. You have released her, and you must be content to
leave her free. The desire to fetter her again is ignoble, dastardly!"
He would neither be shamed nor convinced. With desperate beseechings,
with every argument of passion, no matter how it debased him, he strove
frantically to subdue her to his purpose. But Miriam was immovable. At
length she could not even urge him with reasonings; his prostrate
frenzy revolted her, and she drew away in repugnance. Reuben's
supplication turned on the instant into brutal rage.
"Curse your obstinacy!" he shouted, in a voice that had strained itself
to hoarseness.
The door opened, and Mallard, who had come to see whether Elgar was
still here, heard his exclamation.
"Out of the house!" he commanded sternly. "March! And never let me see
you here again."
Reuben rushed past him, and the house-door closed violently.
Then Miriam's overstrung nerves gave way, and for the first time
Mallard saw her shed tears. She described to him the scene that had
passed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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