“In addition, marriage would really have meant too sudden a change for you—since, as is the case with all invalids, even the smallest change is a great trial for your nerves. Every trifling decision costs you many nightmares, and is accompanied by palpitation of the heart, tears, and nervous exhaustion. People like you bear every discomfort in their house rather than move into another one, and submit to the tyranny of their servants because they have not the energy to look for new ones. It is curious that such characters arrive, with the greatest ease and promptitude, at theoretical and abstract decisions. For instance, to take a furnished house in the country and move into it for the summer is frightfully difficult, but to emigrate is very easy. One only has to read a charming description of Rome, and—good-bye, Russia! I don’t want you any more! I am going to Italy, and shall become an Italian!” “What nonsense you are talking, Sergei Grigorievitch! This is all bluff, and you are simply trying to be brilliant! I assure you I have dreamt of marriage all my life. If you only knew what touching scenes of family life I have pictured to myself! This was always my greatest delight!” “Oh! I quite believe that! We know how to dream beautifully! And in our dreams we are always extraordinarily active! We cross oceans, found colonies, introduce ideal governments, and die as Kings or at least Presidents of Republics! In actual life, however, we groan, we are miserable, and we greatly resent being obliged to bother about going to the Bank, in order to receive the interest of the capital acquired for us by our more energetic ancestors.” “All this is untrue, and a mockery!” “Would you like me to prove the truth of my words by an example?” “If you like.” “Very well. Do you consider me a career-hunter?” “Of course not. What an idea!” “And, in your opinion, I am an honest man worthy of respect?” “Certainly.” “In that case, what would you say if I asked you to be my wife?” “Sergei Grigorievitch! What are you thinking about? I am much too old to marry!” “There! I have caught you at once! As soon as the word ‘marriage’ is mentioned, you immediately find an excuse.” “But what I say is true! If you want to marry, you must choose a young girl who can have children.” “And how do you know that you will have no children? Are you so well acquainted with the decrees of the celestial chancery? Be sincere and say that the thought of marriage disgusts you. That will be nearer the truth.” XII