For the first time that savage act came back to him with a surge of
repudiation, of scared denial. He had a realizing sense of how it
would look to other men--the men he had met at the Fort. Distinctly,
as if their mental attitude were substituted for his, he saw it as they
would see it, as the world he was about to enter would see it. His
heart began to thump with something like terror and the palms of his
hands grew moist. Turning stealthily that he might not wake her, he
stared at the triangle of paler darkness that showed through the tent's
raised flap. He had no fear that Susan would find out. Even if she
did, he knew her securely his, till the end of time, her thoughts to
take their color from him, her fears to be lulled at his wish. But the
others--the active, busy, practical throng into which he would be
absorbed. His action, in the heat of a brutal passion, had made him an
outsider from the close-drawn ranks of his fellows. He had been able
to do without them, defied their laws, scorned their truckling to
public opinion--but now?
The girl turned in her sleep, pressing her head against his shoulder
and murmuring drowsily. He edged away from her, flinching from the
contact, feeling a grievance against her. She was the link between him
and them. Hers was the influence that was sapping the foundations of
his independence. She was drawing him back to the place of lost
liberty outside which he had roamed in barbarous content. His love was
riveting bonds upon him, making his spirit as water. He felt a revolt,
a resistance against her power, which was gently impelling him toward
home, hearth, neighbors--the life in which he felt his place was gone.
The next day the strange mood seemed an ugly dream. It was not he who
had lain wakeful and questioned his right to bend Fate to his own
demands. He rode beside his wife at the head of the train as they
rolled out in the bright, dry morning on the road to the river. There
were men behind them, and in front the dust rose thick on the rear of
pack trains. They filed across the valley, watching the foot hills
come nearer and the muffling robe of the chaparral separate into
checkered shadings where the manzanita glittered and the faint, bluish
domes of small pines rose above the woven greenery.
Men were already before them, scattered along the river's bars, waist
high in the pits. Here and there a tent showed white, but a blanket
under a tree, a pile of pans by a blackened heap of fire marked most of
the camps. Some of the gold-hunters had not waited to undo their packs
which lay as they had been dropped, and the owners, squatting by the
stream's lip, bent over their pans round which the water sprayed in a
silver fringe. There were hails and inquiries, answering cries of good
or ill luck. Many did not raise their eyes, too absorbed by the hope
of fortune to waste one golden moment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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