Even if they had not known this, Susan's demeanor would have told them
it was a serious matter. She was evidently wracked by anxiety which
transformed her into a being so distant, and at times so cross, that
only Daddy John had the temerity to maintain his usual attitude toward
her. She would hardly speak to Leff, and to David, the slighting
coldness that she had shown in the beginning continued, holding him at
arm's length, freezing him into stammering confusion. When he tried to
offer her help or cheer her she made him feel like a foolish and
tactless intruder, forcing his way into the place that was hers alone.
He did not know whether she was prompted by a cruel perversity, or held
in an absorption so intense she had no warmth of interest left for
anybody. He tried to explain her conduct, but he could only feel its
effect, wonder if she had grown to dislike him, review the last week in
a search for a cause. In the daytime he hung about the doctor's wagon,
miserably anxious for a word from her. He was grateful if she asked
him to hunt for medicine in the small, wooden chest, or to spread the
blankets to air on the tops of the lupine bushes.
And while she thus relegated him to the outer places where strangers
hovered, a sweetness, so gentle, so caressing, so all pervading that it
made of her a new and lovely creature, marked her manner to the sick
man. There had always been love in her bearing to her father, but this
new tenderness was as though some hidden well of it, sunk deep in the
recesses of her being, had suddenly overflowed. David saw the hardness
of the face she turned toward him transmute into a brooding passion of
affection as she bent over the doctor's bed. The fingers he did not
dare to touch lifted the sick man's hand to her cheek and held it there
while she smiled down at him, her eyes softening with a light that
stirred the lover's soul. The mystery of this feminine complexity awed
him. Would she ever look at him like that? What could he do to make
her? He knew of no other way than by serving her, trying unobtrusively
to lighten her burden, effacing himself, as that seemed to be what she
wanted. And in the night as he lay near the wagon, ready to start at
her call, he thought with exalted hope that some day he might win such
a look for himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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