Egypt -- History -- 30 B.C.-640 A.D. -- Fiction; German fiction -- Translations into English; Hadrian, Emperor of Rome, 76-138 -- Fiction
“Yes, for I have met men and things as old acquaintances which never saw
the light till long after I was born. Possibly my own interpretation may
not adapt itself to the consciousness of all--but in myself, I know for
certain, there dwells a mysterious something which stirs and works in me
independently of myself, which enters into me, and takes its departure
at its will. Call it as you will, my Daimon, or even my Genius--the name
matters not. Nor will this ‘something’ always come at my bidding, while
it often possesses me when I least expect it. In those moments when it
stirs within me, I am master of much which is peculiar to the experience
and potentiality of that hour. What is known to that Daimon always
appears to me the very same when I actually meet it. Thus Alexandria is
not unknown to me, because my Genius has seen it in his flights. It has
learnt and done much, both in me and for me; a hundred times, face to
face with my own finished works I have asked myself: ‘Is it possible
that you--Hadrian--your mother’s son-can have achieved this? What then
is the mysterious power that aided you to do it?’ Now I also recognize
it, and can see it work in others. The man in whom it dwells soon excels
his fellows, and it is most manifest in artists. Or is it that mere
common men become great artists simply because the Genius selects them
as his temple to dwell in? Do you follow me, boy?”
“Not altogether,” replied Antinous, and his large eyes which had
sparkled brightly so long as he gazed with the Emperor on the city, were
now cast down and fixed wearily on the ground. “Do not be angry with me,
my Lord, but I shall never understand such things as these, for there is
no man with whom your Genius, as you term it, has less concern than with
me. Thoughts of my own have I none, and it is difficult to me to follow
the thoughts of others; indeed I should like to know how I am ever to
do anything right. When I want to work, to work something out, no Daimon
helps my soul; no--it feels quite helpless, and drifts into dreaminess.
And if I ever do complete anything, I am obliged to own to myself that I
certainly might have been able to do it better.”
“Self-knowledge,” laughed Hadrian, “is the climax of wisdom. A man has
done something if he has only added a ‘thing of beauty’ to the joys of
a friend’s imagination; what others do by hard work you do by mere
existence. Be quiet, Argus!” For, while he was speaking, the hound
had risen, and had gone snarling to the door. In spite of his master’s
orders he broke into a loud bark when he heard a steady knock at
the door. Hadrian looked round in bewilderment, and asked: “Where is
Mastor?”
Antinous shouted the slave’s name into the Emperor’s bedroom, which was
next to the living-room, but in vain. “He generally is always at hand,
and as brisk as a lark, but to-day he looked as if in a dream, and while
he was dressing me he first let my shoe fall out of his hand and then my
brooch.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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