Egypt -- History -- 30 B.C.-640 A.D. -- Fiction; German fiction -- Translations into English; Hadrian, Emperor of Rome, 76-138 -- Fiction
“Let them be! let them be! They will find other men! Now send Cyrus with
my shoes and cloak, and have my litter got ready, for Paulina has been
kept waiting long enough.”
The way from the architect’s house to his sister’s was long, and on
his way he found ample time for reflection on various matters besides
Leukippe’s advice to marry. Still, it was a woman’s face and form
that possessed him heart and soul; at first, however, he did not feel
inclined to feast his fancy on Balbilla’s image, lovely as it appeared
to him; on the contrary, with self-inflicted severity he sought
everything in her which could be thought to be opposed to the highest
standard of feminine perfections. Nor did he find it difficult to detect
many defects and deficiencies in the Roman damsel; still he was forced
to admit that they were quite inseparable from her character, and that
she would no longer be what she was, if she were wholly free from them.
Each of her little weaknesses presently began to appear as an additional
charm to the stern man who had himself been brought up in the doctrine
of the Stoics.
He had learnt by experience that sorrow must cast its shadow over the
existence of every human being; but still, the man to whom it should be
vouchsafed to walk through life hand-in-hand with this radiant child of
fortune could, as it seemed to him, have nothing to look forward to but
pure sunshine. During his journey to Pelusium and his stay there he had
often thought of her, and each time that her image had appeared to his
inward eye he had felt as though daylight had shone in his soul. To have
met her he regarded as the greatest joy of his life, but he dared not
aspire to claim her as his own.
He did not undervalue himself and knew that he might well be proud of
the position he had won by his own industry and talents; and still
she was the grandchild of the man who had had the right to sell his
grandfather for mere coin, and was so high-born, rich and distinguished
that he would have thought it hardly more audacious to ask the Emperor
what he would take for the purple than to woo her. But to shelter her,
to warn her, to allow his soul to be refreshed by the sight of her and
by her talk--this he felt was permissible, this happiness no one could
deprive him of. And this she would grant him--she esteemed him and would
give him the right to protect her, this he felt, with thankfulness and
joy. He would, then and there, have gone through the exertions of the
last few hours all over again if he could have been certain that he
should once more be refreshed with the draught of water from her hand.
Only to think of her and of her sweetness seemed greater happiness than
the possession of any other woman.
As he got out of his litter at the door of his sister’s town-house he
shook his head, smiling at himself; for he confessed to himself that
the whole of the long distance he had hardly thought of anything but
Balbilla.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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