British -- Italy -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; Female friendship -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Love stories
She would write. She must write; for if she did there was at least a
chance of his coming, and if she didn’t there was manifestly none. And
then, once here in this loveliness, with everything so soft and kind
and sweet all round, it would be easier to tell him, to try and
explain, to ask for something different, for at least an attempt at
something different in their lives in the future, instead of the
blankness of separation, the cold—oh, the cold—of nothing at all but
the great windiness of faith, the great bleakness of works. Why, one
person in the world, one single person belonging to one, of one’s very
own, to talk to, to take care of, to love, to be interested in, was
worth more than all the speeches on platforms and the compliments of
chairmen in the world. It was also worth more—Rose couldn’t help it,
the thought would come—than all the prayers.
These thoughts were not head thoughts, like Scrap’s, who was altogether
free from yearnings, but bosom thoughts. They lodged in the bosom; it
was in the bosom that Rose ached, and felt so dreadfully lonely. And
when her courage failed her, as it did on most days, and it seemed
impossible to write to Frederick, she would look at Mr. Wilkins and
revive.
There he was, a changed man. There he was, going into that small,
uncomfortable room every night, that room whose proximities had been
Lotty’s only misgiving, and coming out of it in the morning, and Lotty
coming out of it too, both of them as unclouded and as nice to each
other as when they went in. And hadn’t he, so critical at home, Lotty
had told her, of the least thing going wrong, emerged from the bath
catastrophe as untouched in spirit as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego
were untouched in body when they emerged from the fire? Miracles were
happening in this place. If they could happen to Mr. Wilkins, why not
to Frederick?
She got up quickly. Yes, she would write. She would go and write to him
at once.
But suppose—
She paused. Suppose he didn’t answer. Suppose he didn’t even answer.
And she sat down again to think a little longer.
In these hesitations did Rose spend most of the second week.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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