British -- Italy -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; Female friendship -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Love stories
But on one thing she was determined: the first thing she would do when
she got home would be to have it out with Frederick. If he didn’t come
to San Salvatore that is what she would do—the very first thing. Long
ago she ought to have done this, but always she had been handicapped,
when she tried to, by being so dreadfully fond of him and so much
afraid that fresh wounds were going to be given her wretched, soft
heart. But now let him wound her as much as he chose, as much as he
possibly could, she would still have it out with him. Not that he ever
intentionally wounded her; she knew he never meant to, she knew he
often had no idea of having done it. For a person who wrote books,
thought Rose, Frederick didn’t seem to have much imagination. Anyhow,
she said to herself, getting up from the dressing-table, things
couldn’t go on like this. She would have it out with him. This separate
life, this freezing loneliness, she had had enough of it. Why shouldn’t
she too be happy? Why on earth—the energetic expression matched her
mood of rebelliousness—shouldn’t she too be loved and allowed to love?
She looked at her little clock. Still ten minutes before dinner. Tired
of staying in her bedroom she thought she would go on to Mrs. Fisher’s
battlements, which would be empty at this hour, and watch the moon rise
out of the sea.
She went into the deserted upper hall with this intention, but was
attracted on her way along it by the firelight shining through the open
door of the drawing-room.
How gay it looked. The fire transformed the room. A dark, ugly room in
the daytime, it was transformed just as she had been transformed by the
warmth of—no, she wouldn’t be silly; she would think of the poor; the
thought of them always brought her down to sobriety at once.
She peeped in. Firelight and flowers; and outside the deep slits of
windows hung the blue curtain of the night. How pretty. What a sweet
place San Salvatore was. And that gorgeous lilac on the table—she must
go and put her face in it . . .
But she never got to the lilac. She went one step towards it, and then
stood still, for she had seen the figure looking out of the window in
the farthest corner, and it was Frederick.
All the blood in Rose’s body rushed to her heart and seemed to stop its
beating.
Frederick. Come.
She stood quite still. He had not heard her. He did not turn round. She
stood looking at him. The miracle had happened, and he had come.
She stood holding her breath. So he needed her, for he had come
instantly. So he too must have been thinking, longing . . .
Her heart, which had seemed to stop beating, was suffocating her now,
the way it raced along. Frederick did love her then—he must love her,
or why had he come? Something, perhaps her absence, had made him turn
to her, want her . . . and now the understanding she had made up her
mind to have with him would be quite—would be quite—easy—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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