British -- Italy -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; Female friendship -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Love stories
“Don’t try,” said Lotty, smiling.
“But I must, because I love you.”
“Dear Rose,” said Lotty, swiftly bending down and kissing her.
“You’re so quick,” said Rose. “I can’t follow your developments. I
can’t keep touch. It was what happened with Freder—”
She broke off and looked frightened.
“The whole idea of our coming here,” she went on again, as Lotty didn’t
seem to have noticed, “was to get away, wasn’t it? Well, we’ve got
away. And now, after only a single day of it, you want to write to the
very people—”
She stopped.
“The very people we were getting away from,” finished Lotty. “It’s
quite true. It seems idiotically illogical. But I’m so happy, I’m so
well, I feel so fearfully wholesome. This place—why, it makes me feel
_flooded_ with love.”
And she stared down at Rose in a kind of radiant surprise.
Rose was silent a moment. Then she said, “And do you think it will have
the same effect on Mr. Wilkins?”
Lotty laughed. “I don’t know,” she said. “But even if it doesn’t,
there’s enough love about to flood fifty Mr. Wilkinses, as you call
him. The great thing is to have lots of love _about_. I don’t see,” she
went on, “at least I don’t see here, though I did at home, that it
matters who loves as long as somebody does. I was a stingy beast at
home, and used to measure and count. I had a queer obsession about
justice. As though justice mattered. As though justice can really be
distinguished from vengeance. It’s only love that’s any good. At home I
wouldn’t love Mellersh unless he loved me back, exactly as much,
absolute fairness. Did you ever. And as he didn’t, neither did I, and
the _aridity_ of that house! The _aridity_ . . .”
Rose said nothing. She was bewildered by Lotty. One odd effect of San
Salvatore on her rapidly developing friend was her sudden free use of
robust words. She had not used them in Hampstead. Beast and dog were
more robust than Hampstead cared about. In words, too, Lotty had come
unchained.
But how she wished, oh how Rose wished, that she too could write to her
husband and say “Come.” The Wilkins _ménage_, however pompous Mellersh
might be, and he had seemed to Rose pompous, was on a healthier, more
natural footing than hers. Lotty could write to Mellersh and would get
an answer. She couldn’t write to Frederick, for only too well did she
know he wouldn’t answer. At least, he might answer—a hurried scribble,
showing how much bored he was at doing it, with perfunctory thanks for
her letter. But that would be worse than no answer at all; for his
handwriting, her name on an envelope addressed by him, stabbed her
heart. Too acutely did it bring back the letters of their beginnings
together, the letters from him so desolate with separation, so aching
with love and longing. To see apparently one of these very same letters
arrive, and open it and find:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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