One thing I observed of my master, that if the Reckoning once came to above three shillings, he would be sure to bring in six pence or eight pence more than it was; then when the Company were going away he would say, _Nay stay, Gentlemen, & take my half dozen Cans before you go_, which most commonly produced another reckoning, the Gentlemen not knowing how to retaliate his kindness without doing so, by this means getting their mony, with thanks to boot. If Gentlemen brought tobacco of their own, we would say it stunk were it never so good, and feigning a Cough as if half stifel’d, cry out, _Who is it that takes of this stinking stuff? this is enough to suffocate the Devil_. Which would make some Gentlemen to throw away their pipes and say, _Pox on this Grocer he hath cheated me damnably, come give us three pipes of your tobacco_, which when they have had they would commend for superexcellent, although perhaps twelve pence in the pound worse than his own, by which may be proved that tobacco is nothing else but a meer fancy. I seeing my master cozen Gentlemen so frequently, thought with my self that I might cozen them also, or at least-wise cozen my master, who so often cozened others, being warranted thereto by that of the Poet. _Cozen the Cozener, commonly they be Profain, let their own snare their ruine be._ And therefore when he was out of the way, to the reckoning I would add a groat, six pence, eight pence, or twelve pence, according as it was in bigness, which yet I would also score up, lest if he came in the way before it was paid, and should tell the score; I might be mistrusted; but if I received the mony before he came, then the over-plus went into my own pocket, which could not be discovered when the chalk was wiped out. In Summer, when people drank in Canns, if my Master were in company (as oft-times he was invited by Guests to drink with them) we had a Can with a false bottom that held not above a quarter of a pint, which in the delivery of them I always so ordered as that Can came to his hands, which he would drink off leisurely, and then turning the bottom upwards, it past undiscerned, saving thereby much beer in a day, keeping himself sober to drink in other companies. In Winter for morning-draughts we furnished our Guests with _Gravesend_ toasts, which is bread toasted over night, our plenty of Guests not permitting us to do it in the morning; if we put any of them into drink before our Guests (as sometimes we were forced to do) we would be sure to warm the beer or ale before-hand, and in putting in the toast cry siz, although it were as cold as a stone.