But my Master and I were not all the cozeners that belonged to the Inn, the Hostler claimed as great a share in that mistery as we. His chief cunning consisted in tallowing Horse-teeth that they should eat no hay; or when a Gentleman gave his Horse oats, no sooner was his back turn’d, but he would steal them half away, telling the Gentleman, _his Horse must needs travel well he was so quick at his meat_. If a Gentleman’s saddle were any thing torn he would be sure to make it so bad that he could not ride any further with it without mending, as also to spoyle the shoes on the Horses feet, that he must be forced to have new ones, for which he had pensions from the Smith and the Sadler. Nor must I here forget the Chamberlain, who deserved to be rancked with the foremost for Roguery; he was a sly thief, and used to cheat Guests with foul sheets, pretending them to be clean, when as they had been lain in three or four times; and then a little water strowed on them, and foulded up and prest, made them seem as if new washt. He was a very diligent observer of Gentlemens Cloakbags, whether they had good silver linings in them or no, which if he found to be ponderous, his next care was to inquire what Country-men they were, which way they travelled, and the like, which having found, he gave intelligence accordingly to a Gang of Highway men, with whom he was in continual pay. These were the Servants that belonged to this Inn, such a parcel of Canary-birds as well deserved to look through a Hempen Casement at the three corner’d tenement in the high-way betwixt _London_ and _Paddington_. Were not those Guests well blest think ye, which hapned in such a place where none but knaves, thieves, and cheaters were their attendants? Now you cannot but imagine that the Master of such Servants was well worthy of his place, I shall therefore only give you a brief character of the Host himself, and so proceed on in my discourse. He seemed by his bulk to be of the race of the old Gyants, and though his belly were not so big as the tun at _Heidleburg_, yet a flaggon of beer therein seemed no more than a man in _Pauls_. He commanded with as much imperiousness as if he were the great _Cham_ of _Tartaria_, and had an excellent faculty to strut along the streets with the top of his staff bobbing against his lips, he could call the young wenches whores with a great grace; and when he took tobacco, his mouth vented smoak like the funnel of a Chimney. He much blamed the English for affecting to drink wine, preferring beer and ale before all forraign liquors whatsoever. To show his loving nature he would drink with all companies, and would toss off a _Cann_ with celerity and dexterity. He would not be jealous though he saw another man kissing his wife, knowing such her familiarity to be the greatest Load-stone that attracted Guests to his house, in summe, his forenoons work was to scoope in beer by the Quart, and the most part of the afternoon to spend in sleeping.