would do with it; at night when he came home, he sent the maid for two pots of Ale, when she was gone for it, I took my shred hair, and strowed the same in her bed betwixt the sheets, which plagued her worse then if she had had half a peck of six footed vermine to her bedfellows; a good while she endured it, being exceeding loath to be at the pains of putting on her Cloaths, for she always accounted the trouble of dressing and undressing her self to be a great plague inflicted on mortals to disturb them of their ease, accounting the Birds in a far happier condition than men, who go to bed and rise with their doublet and breeches on, and was resolved if she changed her Religion to have turned _Adamite_, that she might have saved that labour of dressing her self; but the hair tormented her so abominably, that _nolens volens_ she was forced to rise, and sit up until the morning, when looking in the sheets she found the cause of her disquietness; the cunning Jade made no speech of it at all, but was as pleasant that morning as if she had ailed nothing all night; which made me to mistrust my art, and think I had not done my business right. All that day she was busied with her thoughts in contriving mischief against me, the result whereof was, that she took the sheets from off her bed and laid them on mine, whereby she paid me home in my own coyn, and whereof I could not justly complain, seeing what was sause for a Goose was sauce for a Gander. I had work’d very hard that day, and would willingly have taken some rest at night, but it was in vain to think of it, I might almost have lain as well upon pins and needles as on what I did, I then thought upon the story which is usually told Boys when they first come to be Prentices concerning their enroling, that they must be rol’d in a Barrel drove full of nails, with the points sticking up, and thought this punishment to be little inferior to that; flesh and blood could not endure it, wherefore I got up and uncased my bed of the sheets, creeping in betwixt the blanckets where I lay all night. In the morning the maid asked me how I slept that night? I told her very well, for my skin was armor of proof against the biting of fleas, or any other disturbance whatsoever, but though I carried fair weather in my countenance, my heart boyled in revenge against her, wherefore that day I went and bought two penny-worth of Cow-itch, which is a drug of that nature, that where it touches the flesh, it will make them so scrub seventeen times worse than if they were plagued with the itch, with this I anointed her sheets in the same manner as I strowed them with horse-hair before; but if the hair netled, this fleyed, she had needed to have had _Briarius_ hundred hands to have scratcht her self at once, for when she came to be a little hot in her bed, she fared like a mad woman; the more she scratcht the more it itcht, so that by what she seek't to allay her paine, she encreas’d it: