I did not find by their discourse any great matter of ingenuity, having not wit enough to practice any thing of their own designing; they were old seasoned Rogues; and were content to tread in the same old Paths their Predecessors had trod in before, without making any new discovery. And therefore I shall give you an account only, that not daring to stay longer in _London_, they were constrained to betake themselves to the Countrey. The week before the Sizes they came to _Excester_, setting up their Horses at an Inn, they presently (not to lose time) walkt to see the City, and under that pretence to try what advantages they could make therein, went into several Taverns, and where they could not get civily into company they thought they might bubble, they rudely intruded, and had like to have been soundly basted for their pains; they found that Gaming would not suit their purpose in that precise place; therefore the next day they resolved to experience what Jilting would do; and that they might carry on their design with the less suspition, they bespoke a Dish or two of Meat for Dinner in a Tavern, inviting the man of the House and his Wife to eat with them, they called freely for Wine, and drank pretty smartly; at length they were left alone, one of them steps up the stairs, and gets into the Vintners Lodging Room, where seeing a large Trunk, he attempts to open it with his Pick-lock, (which they have of all sorts and sises from a Street Door to a Cabinet) being too long a fumbling about his business, the Vintner came up to his Comrade the mean time, and asking where his Friend was; the other replyed he was gone up to the House of Office; _Nay, that cannot be_, replyed he, _for it is below in the Yard_ and thereupon (his heart mis-giving him) he ran up hastily the stairs, and looking back saw him that he left below at the stair-head ready to go down, and the other that was above coming out of his Chamber, not knowing how to seize them both, he cryed out, _stop the Thief that is coming down_, and in the mean time clos’d in with him that was above and struggling with him, he was forc’d to quit an Hundred Pound-Bagg, that the Jilt had got under his Arm, which made the Vintner then more eager to secure him: in short, they were both secured and carried before a Justice; there needed no other evidence to convict them, than a great bunch of those Pick-locks found about them. Upon this they were committed, and that very Sizes (having miraculously before escaped buzzing in the fist) both sentenced to be Transported. Now give me leave to give you an account (if it be possible) of one that is every thing, yet nothing. By his Garb, both a Gentleman, and a Soldier too, and such an one is this _Pretended (poor) Captain_.