The English Rogue: Described in the Life of Meriton Latroon, a Witty ExtravagantHead, Richard
General
The English Rogue: Described in the Life of Meriton Latroon, a Witty Extravagant
Head, Richard
Rogues and vagabonds -- England -- Fiction
she would have clasped me in her Arms; but I hung an arse, being
sensible of the stinking condition that the fear had put me in. She was
very inquisitive after my welfare, asking me again and again, _Whether I
had received any harm from the Rogues_. I told her no: _Nay, then I care
not for my own sufferings, or what loss I have sustained by them_, said
she, and so speedily went for a candle. As I was thinking to Apologize
for my nastiness, up she came with a light, viewing me, and perceiving
what a condition I was in, she kept at a distance; _Sir_, said she, _my
fancy suggests to me, that you now resemble _Nebuchadnezzar_ when
Metamorphozed into a beast, and lying in his own dung, when you shall
have reassumed your humanity, I shall presume to approach nearer to
you_. I made my Sirreverence to her, wishing they had gagged her breech
too so wide, that her guts might have a passage through her posteriours.
For I plainly perceived, notwithstanding all her specious pretences, she
was the foundress of this Plot. Well, she caused water to be brought up,
with which I cleansed my self; and because my shirt had too strong a
sent of _Stercus humanum_, she lent me a Smock, which presaged ere long
I should wear Coats too. Having shifted my self, I looked for my
Cloaths, but there was a _Non est inventus_ out against them, all my
search could afford me not the least comfort: my Mistress seemed much
disturbed at my loss; but when I told her I had lost such a considerable
quantity of Gold, her sorrow seemed to be redoubled, and I am sure her
inward joy was increased. She comforted me with a great many friendly
loving expression, sdesiring me to be patient, and indeed necessity
forced me to it. I asked her advice what I should do in this naked
condition: _There is no remedy_, (she replyed) _you must be content to
cloath your self in Womans apparel, as for mans I have none to furnish
you withal_. I consented to it, and presently she drest me up in one of
her Gowns, with all the appurtenances thereunto belonging. The
slenderness of my body, whiteness of skin, beauty, and smoothness of
face (having no hairs thereon) added a suitableness to my garb. I must
ingeniously confess, when I consulted with a Looking-glass, I thought
the transmutation of Sexes had been verified in me; but when I walked, I
found something pendulous, which easily perswaded me to the contrary
belief of my self. I thought it folly to tax her for my misfortune,
knowing how little it would advantage me. The time was come I was to
take my leave of her: going to salute her, I committed a foul mistake,
indeavouring to pull off my hood in stead of my hat, and making a Leg
(as the vulgar term is) in stead of a Curchy; but she advising me to
rectifie that mistake for the time to come, we bid each other adieu. In
this disguize I traversed the streets, it being almost impossible for
any to discover me, my voice being so effeminate, that I was confident
that would never betray me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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