The English Rogue: Described in the Life of Meriton Latroon, a Witty ExtravagantHead, Richard
General
The English Rogue: Described in the Life of Meriton Latroon, a Witty Extravagant
Head, Richard
Rogues and vagabonds -- England -- Fiction
After this we drank very smartly, but, I forgot not all this while my
design on him. After that I had pitied him, and lamented his sad
misfortune, I thought it high time to put my Plot in execution: in order
thereunto, I demanded what difference he would take between my Hat and
his, his Cloak and mine; there being small matter of advantage in the
exchange, we agreed to go to handicap. In fine, There was not any thing
about us of wearing cloaths but we interchanged: scarce had I un-cased
my self, and put on my Friends cloaths, but in came one that had dogged
me, attended by the Constable, with a Warrant to seize me, who they knew
by no other token but my Boarding-Mistresses Sons garments I had stolen
for my escape. They forthwith laid hold on my Companion, (finding them
on him) telling him, _He should severely suffer for the wrong he did his
Mistress, in the abuse of her house_. Full of horror and amazement, he
beseeched them not to carry him before his Mistress, knowing how much he
had offended her, she would have no mercy on him; this confirmed their
belief, that they had found out the Offender. The more he intreated, the
more deaf and inexorable were they; and whilst they were busied about
their mistaken Criminal-Prisoner, I took an occasion to give them the
slip, knowing that a little further discourse would rectifie their
Error. What they did with him I know not, neither durst I be so
inquisitive to understand: wherefore, leaving him to the mercy of such,
as would shew but little to him, I shall proceed forwards in my own
story. My stock was now very small; how to increase it, I knew not. My
invention was daily on the Rack, to find out expedient wayes to supply
my necessary expence. But my money being all spent, my belly began to
grumble out insufferable complaints against me, seeming to charge me
with want of ingenuity and industry, since I injoyed my liberty; for
want that man cannot, which wants not that. Alas, what should I do? I
used what means I could, having no better experience. There was not a
Billiard Table, Boards End, or Nine-Pin-yard, that I did not daily
visit, frequenting such as had the greatest resort: in a short time I
learned the art of Spunging so perfectly, that I had the Title of
_Spunge-Master General_ conferred upon me. In those places I learned to
take Tobacco, which was the chiefest part of my food; living in a manner
by Smoak, as the Camelion by Air. I fed so lightly, that I durst not
stir abroad in a high wind; neither durst I fight, lest one single
stroak should have hazarded my dissolution; continued drinking had so
washed me, that my body was transparent, you might have seen within me
(without dissection) the motion of the heart; you could have observed
but little as to my liver, it long since had lost its use in the
conveyance of the blood, for my stomack had nothing therein contained to
supply it; like an Inns-a-Court-Kitchin out of Term-time. In short, I
appeared like a walking _Skeleton_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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