That is, if it related to myself. Suffice it to be told In wealth he roll'd, And being a fellow of some spirit, Set up his coach; To 'scape reproach, He put the tailor on the shelf, And thought to make his boy a man of merit. On old Etona's classic ground, Tom's infant years in circling round Were spent 'mid Greek and Latin; The boy had parts both gay and bright, A merry, mad, facetious sprite, With heart as soft as satin. For sport or spree Tom never lack'd; A _con_{21} with all, his sock he crack'd With _oppidan_ or gownsman: Could _smug_ a sign, or quiz the _dame_, Or row, or ride, or poach for game, With _cads_, or Eton townsmen. Tom's _admiral_ design'd, Most dads are blind To youthful folly, That Tom should be a man of learning, To show his parent's great discerning, A parson rich and jolly. To Oxford Tom in due time went, Upon degree D.D. intent, But more intent on ruin: _A Freshman_, steering for the _Port of Stuff's_,{22} Round _Isle Matricula_, and _Isthmus of Grace_, Intent on living well and little doing. Here Tom came out a dashing blood, Kept Doll at Woodstock, and a stud For hunting, race, or tandem; Could _bag_ a proctor, _floor a raff_, Or stifle e'en a _hull-dog's gaff_, Get _bosky_, drive at random. 21 Eton phraseology--A friend. 22 Oxford phraseology--All these terms have been explained in an earlier part of the work. ~235~~ [Illustration: page 235] But long before the first term ended, Tom was inform'd, unless he mended, He'd better change his college. Which said, the _Don_ was hobbling to the shelf Where college butler keeps his book of _Battell_; Tom nimbly ran, erased his name himself, To save the scandal of the students' prattle. In Oxford, be it known, there is a place Where all the mad wags in disgrace Retire to improve their knowledge; The town _raff_ call it _Botany Bay_, Its inmates _exiles, convicts_, and they say Saint Alban takes the student refugees: Here Tom, to 'scape _Point Non plus_, took his seat After a _waste of ready_--found his feet Safe on the shores of indolence and ease; Here, 'mid choice spirits, in the _Isle of Flip_, Dad's will, and _sapping_, valued not young _snip_; Scapula, Homer, Lexicon, laid by, Join'd the peep-of-day boys in full cry.{23} A saving sire a sad son makes This adage suits most modern rakes,