Instead of returning home, he rushed with rapid and unequal steps
down the Gallowgate, and, turning to the left hand in reaching the end
of the street, never halted till he had gained the dark firs which
overhang the cathedral and skirt the Molindinar Burn, which at the
time was swelled with rains, and pouring its troubled torrent almost
as violently as the tide of feelings that struggled in his bosom.
Unconscious of what he did, and borne along by the whirlwind of his
own thoughts, he darted down the steep, and for a moment hung on the
rocks at the bottom as if he meditated some frantic leap. Recoiling and
trembling with the recollections of his family, he then threw himself
on the ground, and for some time shut his eyes as if he wished to
believe that he was agitated only by a dream.
The scene and the day were in unison with the tempest which shook his
frame and shivered his mind. The sky was darkly overcast. The clouds
were rolling in black and lowering masses, through which an occasional
gleam of sunshine flickered for a moment on the towers and pinnacles
of the cathedral, and glimmered in its rapid transit on the monuments
and graves in the church-yard. A gloomy shadow succeeded; and then a
white and ghastly light hovered along the ruins of the bishop’s castle,
and darted with a strong and steady ray on a gibbet which stood on the
rising ground beyond. The gusty wind howled like a death-dog among the
firs, which waved their dark boughs like hearse plumes over him, and
the voice of the raging waters encouraged his despair.
He felt as if he had been betrayed into a situation which compelled him
to surrender all the honourable intents of his life, and that he must
spend the comfortless remainder of his days in a conflict with poverty,
a prey to all its temptations, expedients, and crimes. At one moment,
he clenched his grasp, and gnashed his teeth, and smote his forehead,
abandoning himself to the wild and headlong energies and instincts of
a rage that was almost revenge; at another, the image of Isabella, so
gentle and so defenceless, rose in a burst of tenderness and sorrow,
and subdued him with inexpressible grief. But the thought of his
children in the heedless days of their innocence, condemned to beggary
by a fraud against nature, again scattered these subsiding feelings
like the blast that brushes the waves of the ocean into spindrift.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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