Italy -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Violinists -- Fiction
Not a weeping woman, Anne was conscious of an intolerable ache in her
throat, an intolerable emptiness in the heart. She and Vittorio had
parted once again, and this time it had hurt, as if her very flesh had
been riven apart. And yet, so alone is the soul, so dumb in its
self-expression, that the short drive had appeared neither tragic nor
momentous. Merely unfruitful and incomplete.
A malaise had lain upon them from the very beginning. A creeping
paralysis had bound their tongues to trivialities, their souls to
silence and constraint. And yet Anne felt as if neither of them would
ever forget this night. Nor how beautiful the park had looked, like a
scene in a Russian opera, with the snow blossoming upon the trees like
gigantic flowers. Skyscrapers, luminous against the heavens, impregnable
castles of supermen, had flung a challenge into space. Their
diamond-studded windows were more brilliant than the stars.
But inside the car it had been warm, even cozy. Vittorio's shoulder had
brushed against hers. His profile only half visible, had leaned towards
her. The scent of his cigarettes still lingered upon the air with a hint
of comfort. She stretched out her hand and touched the place where he
had sat. It was still warm. Some of his vitality remained as if to
console her. He had actually sat there a few moments ago in the flesh.
And now there was only a vague hint of warmth,--and emptiness. How could
a thing be one moment, and yet not only vanish the next, but even seem
as if it had never existed? Was it possible that nothing was real, after
all? How strange a thing is the fluidity of time. The past flowed into
the present. The present welled into the future, and swept onwards like
a mighty river, towards the ocean of eternity, whence came its source.
Encircling the globe in its rushing current, it carried one upon its
bosom, helpless but protesting from the vast gray sea of birth to the
vast gray sea of death, which in the end are one and the same.
What a mystery it all was, a problem. Heavy with weariness, Anne's smile
showed drearily from beneath a passing arc light. Protest, rebellion?
What was the use of either, if one were only a leaf upon the swirl of
heavy waters? To stay the flow for the fraction of a second was an
impossibility denied even to the gods.
Things were like that. A little while ago she and Vittorio had sat here,
side by side, and uttered trivialities. The moment was gone forever and
he with it. Carried upon it as if by a substance more powerful than
flesh and blood. And now that he was no longer there, that he no longer
existed In time, it seemed, she could think of a thousand things that
they might have said to each other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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