Italy -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Violinists -- Fiction
"Not that he's not good to me," she hastened to add, impelled by pride
and pity. "A bit difficult at times, because he knows that he cannot
make me his wife. But I don't really mind. For I'm so sorry for him."
The rest of the drive had proceeded in stark silence, punctuated at
intervals by those scattered inanities by which one strives to cover the
nakedness of the soul.
As he sat beside her to-night, Anne surmised the torture that Vittorio
had undergone. Her knowledge of his character was founded upon years of
comradeship. A proud man, it must have been sheer agony for him to
realize her anomalous position. To feel that she had been content to
take second best when he had offered her his all so many times and been
rejected. And yet although it was inevitable that he should suffer, not
once had he made her feel any lessening of his respect, or even of his
love. He had understood so much better than most men the impulse of pity
that lay back of her surrender. He had seemed to comprehend, too, the
temporal quality of it all. Anne knew that if she would leave Alexis and
go to Vittorio some day he would not only consider her as unsmirched as
before, but possibly better for the experience. He was unique among men
in that he realized the sacrificial quality of her action. The only
thing that he would not forgive would be hypocrisy. Of that she was
aware, to her despair. For it was this very thing that had severed them
like a sword when they parted. Vittorio believed that out of some motive
of pity, and possibly of modesty, Anne was deceiving him about her
feeling for Alexis. She knew he believed this and yet she was as
powerless to undeceive him as she was to take up the imaginary sword
that lay between them and thrust it into her living breast. Oh, why had
she not obeyed her instinct for flight, and avoided this perilous
encounter? What a tragedy of errors they had all drifted into. What a
farce it was. A trick of the ironical gods who dig colossal fingers into
one's ribs and expect one to laugh like a babe being tickled. Why had
Vittorio returned to-night of all nights? To-night when she had been
riding upon the pinnacle? Why had their eyes encountered in that
shattering glance, which had flung her once more into the abyss of doubt
and fear? She had felt so exultant in Alexis' triumph. So eager to pour
renewed radiance upon his victory and his fatigue. And now the desire
had completely departed, sucked into the mud of anti-climax.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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