In solitude, we are apt to feel too strongly whatever relates to
ourselves: we are apt to over-rate the good offices we may have done,
and the injuries we may have suffered: we are apt to be too much
elated by our own good, and too much dejected by our own bad fortune.
The conversation of a friend brings us to a better, that of a stranger
to a still better, temper. The man within the breast, the abstract and
ideal spectator of our sentiments and conduct, requires often to be
awakened and put in mind of his duty, by the presence of the real
spectator: and it is always from that spectator, from whom we can
expect the least sympathy and indulgence, that we are likely to learn
the most complete lesson of self-command.
Are you in adversity? Do not mourn in the darkness of solitude, do not
regulate your sorrow according to the indulgent sympathy of your
intimate friends; return, as soon as possible, to the daylight of the
world and of society. Live with strangers, with those who know
nothing, or care nothing about your misfortune; do not even shun the
{135} company of enemies; but give yourself the pleasure of mortifying
their malignant joy, by making them feel how little you are affected
by your calamity, and how much you are above it.
Are you in prosperity? Do not confine the enjoyment of your good
fortune to your own house, to the company of your own friends, perhaps
of your flatterers, of those who build upon your fortune the hopes of
mending their own; frequent those who are independent of you, who can
value you only for your character and conduct, and not for your
fortune. Neither seek nor shun, neither intrude yourself into nor run
away from the society of those who were once your superiors, and who
may be hurt at finding you their equal, or, perhaps, even their
superior. The impertinence of their pride may, perhaps, render their
company too disagreeable: but if it should not, be assured that it is
the best company you can possibly keep; and if, by the simplicity of
your unassuming demeanour, you can gain their favour and kindness, you
may rest satisfied that you are modest enough, and that your head has
been in no respect turned by your good fortune.
The propriety of our moral sentiments is never so apt to be corrupted,
as when the indulgent and partial spectator is at hand, while the
indifferent and impartial one is at a great distance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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