The Essays of Douglas JerroldJerrold, Douglas William
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The Essays of Douglas Jerrold
Jerrold, Douglas William
English essays -- 19th century
prosperity of his host, and more, may invite himself to dine with him.
Great caution, however, is to be used before there be any advance to
such familiarity; and yet I once knew a gentleman from Natchez who
obtained unlimited credit from his host—the pot-house keeper was
musical—by insisting upon it that he made Dibdin’s “Lovely Nan” by the
very force of expression remarkably like Rossini. So far, all was well;
but, forgetful of what was due to himself as a swindler,—in the genial
atmosphere of a domestic hearth letting himself down to the level of his
host—the foolish fellow suffered himself to play at cribbage with his
landlord; a man who had spent at least half of his long and useful life,
pegging. Game after game the landlord’s doubts increased: and at length
he rose from the table with a blank in his face, and all the swindler’s
bill in his heart. “I’m done—I know I’m done!” cried the host with a
groan. “I must be done, for no true gentleman could ever beat me at
cribbage.” At least one month’s board and lodging, besides the greatest
of all advantages, the first-rate reference to shopkeepers, did my
friend from Natchez lose by his skill at cribbage. It is true when hard
pressed he talked a great deal about the last failure of the cotton
crop—an excellent theme, by the way—but in this case he talked to the
winds, or, what was much worse, to a man obstinate upon his bill. My
friend had to make an ignominious retreat, leaving behind him all his
goods generously subscribed for him by the ingenuous West-end
shopkeepers.
Notwithstanding this, the swindler may for a time take America for his
country. The trick is by no means over-done. If, however, the swindler
make the election—if he resolve upon becoming a gentleman of enormous
fortune from the United States—he had better choose the South, and,
above all things, he must not forget the cotton crop. As it once
happened at New Orleans, much execution may, even in London, be done
upon the enemy from behind cotton bags. As for his rank, the swindler
should not venture beyond that of colonel—yes, a colonel and a great
grower of cotton.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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