'As this is too tender a subject for me to inform my unhappy
and distressed mother and sisters of, I trust, dear Sir, you
will either show them this letter, or make known to them the
truly dreadful intelligence in such a manner as (assisted by
your wholesome and paternal advice) may enable them to bear it
with Christian fortitude. The only worldly feelings I am now
possessed of are for their happiness and welfare; but even
these, in my present situation, I must endeavour, with God's
assistance, to eradicate from my heart, how hard soever the
task. I must strive against cherishing any temporal
affections. But, my dear Sir, endeavour to mitigate my
distressed mother's sorrow. Give my everlasting duty to her,
and unabated love to my disconsolate brothers and sisters, and
all my other relations. Encourage them, by my example, to bear
up with fortitude and resignation to the Divine will, under
their load of misfortunes, almost too great for female nature
to support, and teach them to be fully persuaded that all
hopes of happiness on earth are vain. On my own account I
still enjoy the most easy serenity of mind; and am, dear Sir,
for ever your greatly indebted and most dutiful, but
ill-fated,
'PETER HEYWOOD.'
His next letter is to his dearly beloved Nessy.
'Had I not a strong idea that, ere this mournful epistle from
your ill-fated brother can reach the trembling hand of my ever
dear and much afflicted Nessy, she must have been informed of
the final issue of my trial on Wednesday morning, by my
honoured friend Dr. Scott, I would not now add trouble to the
afflicted by a confirmation of it. Though I have indeed fallen
an early victim to the rigid rules of the service, and though
the jaws of death are once more opened upon me, yet do I not
now nor ever will bow to the tyranny of base-born fear.
Conscious of having done my duty to God and man, I feel not
one moment's anxiety on my own account, but cherish a full and
sanguine hope that perhaps a few days more will free me from
the load of misfortune which has ever been my portion in this
transient period of existence; and that I shall find an
everlasting asylum in those blessed regions of eternal bliss,
where the galling yoke of tyranny and oppression is felt no
more.
'If earthly Majesty, to whose mercy I have been recommended by
the Court, should refuse to put forth its lenient hand and
rescue me from what is _fancifully_ called an ignominious
death, there is a heavenly King and Redeemer ready to receive
the righteous penitent, on whose gracious mercy alone I, as we
all should, depend, with that pious resignation which is the
duty of every Christian; well convinced that, without His
express permission, not even a hair of our head can fall to
the ground.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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