"Man-stuff," she thought contemptuously. She had heard such an
expression used in connection with the verses of this uncouth scribe. It
did not strike her that man-stuff might well enough be woman-stuff also,
being one or the other, or both, for the sheer reason that it was human.
She chose to consider it merely the sort of coarse food for male mental
digestion. A man's nature was not fine and intricate; rather his
emotional qualities must be like stubby, blunt, callous fingers,
unskilled and not highly sentient. A man lacked the psychical and
spiritual and intellectual development which was that of a maid like
Gloria; his joys were chiefly physical. So he cared to blaze trails like
the explorer; the impact of a storm's buffeting and the low appreciation
of a full stomach drew limits marking his possibilities of expansion. He
was a beast, and she hated the whole sex sweepingly and superbly. In
great surges of genuine sympathy her heart went out to herself.
But, after all, the moments in which her thoughts were snared away from
her fears and the oppression of loneliness were few and short. From
wondering what kept King she passed to bitter anger that he should
desert her so; she concluded that he was doing it with malicious intent.
Repeatedly she was tempted to go forth and seek Gratton: to hunt up and
down until at last she came to him. Again and again she went to the
mouth of the cave and looked forth. But each time she drew back,
terrified at the thought of making her way unaided down the sheer cliff
wall. She sought to tell herself that she was not afraid of the snow, of
being lost, of being unable to find Gratton. But she could not climb
down the cliff; she knew that she would fall. Dizzy and sick, shivering
with dread and cold, she turned back always.
She let her fire die down, not noticing it. Then the cold reminded her,
and she worked long building another. She knew where a block of matches
was; she had seen King set it carefully away. In her excitement she
struck dozens of matches, dropping the burnt ends about her.
At last her fire blazed up and she warmed herself. Then she was
conscious of a strange faintness and realized that she was hungry. She
went to their food cache and ransacked it hastily. She opened a tin of
sardines and came back to the fire with it in her hands. She had no
clear conception of the deed when, half of the fish consumed, the smelly
stuff revolted her and she hurled the remaining part into the bed of
coals.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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