She put her face into her hands and shivered, and felt the fear of one
under the flashing guillotine. She willed to move, to obey, at this
tardy second, but something within her, stronger than herself, held her
back. "_I won't!_" she screamed. The blow fell swiftly. The rope cut
through the air with vicious sibilance and fell across the stooped
shoulders. The pain was immediate, hot and searing, and Gloria
shrieked--once only--and grew still. She dropped her hands and looked at
him, her face as white as a dead girl's, her eyes as unfathomable as a
maniac's. She who had never been whipped in all of her life, she whose
soft white body had been held inviolate by idolizing parents, she who
had come to hold her own person as sacred as that of a high princess--to
be beaten by a man! To be lashed across her shoulders with a horse's
tie-rope. She, Gloria Gaynor, to have her bedding ripped off her, to be
commanded to do a man's bidding--and to be whipped!
She had known fear, blind, paralysing terror. She had suffered indignity
and experienced an insulted resentment that seared through her like a
hot iron. She had known pain, merciless bodily pain. Now she was plunged
into stupor. But that stupor was of only the fraction of a second in
duration. A flash as of white fire flared through her brain. In a soul
in torment something had happened. Something had been killed within
her--or something had been born. A blow at a man's hand had seemed to
cut through her being; it had separated body and spirit. She was
conscious of the body as though she stood apart and looked down at it.
He could beat that; he was stronger. The spirit rose above it--a spirit
bathed in floods of fire. She was in the sudden fierce grip of such
anger as kills, of such defiance as suffers death and does not yield.
"I won't go with you," she cried. "You may beat me; you may kill me if
you like, unthinkable brute that you are. I will not follow you now; I
will never follow one step ever. I have listened to you; now listen to
me! I would rather die than be brought to safety by you. If I cannot
find the way home without your help, I do not want ever to get home. I
am not afraid of you or your rope. I had rather feel a clean rope across
my shoulders until they were bloody than your vile hand on mine."
"You will do what I tell you to do," he said thickly. "It is the only
way. I will make you."
Blazing eyes burning in a death-white face gave him his only answer.
His own face now was no less white; iron-bodied as he was, he was
trembling. Yet he lifted the rope. To strike the second blow. Not just
to frighten her, but to strike. She read his purpose clearly, and she
could not restrain a shudder of her flesh. But she did not draw back
from him, and she did not cry out. She meant what she had said, or what
some re-born Gloria had said for her; he might kill her, but she would
not follow him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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