INSIDE.--Crammed full of passengers--three fat, fusty, old men--a young mother and sick child--a cross old maid--a poll-parrot--a bag of red herrings--double-barreled gun, (which you are afraid is loaded)--and a snarling lap-dog, in addition to yourself--awaking out of a sound nap, with the cramp in one leg, and the other in a lady’s band-box--pay the damage (four or five shillings) for “gallantry’s sake”--getting out in the dark, at the half-way-house, in the hurry stepping into the return coach, and finding yourself the next morning at the very spot you had started from the evening before--not a breath of air--asthmatic old man, and child with the measles--windows closed in consequence--unpleasant smell--shoes filled with warm water--look up and find it’s the child--obliged to bear it--no appeal--shut your eyes, and scold the dog--pretend sleep, and pinch the child--mistake--pinch the dog, and get bit--execrate the child in return--black looks--“no gentleman”--pay the coachman, and drop a piece of gold in the straw--not to be found--fell through a crevice--coachman says, “he’ll find it”--can’t--get out yourself--gone--picked up by the ’ostler.--No time for “blowing up”--coach off for next stage--lose your money--get in--lose your seat--stuck in the middle--get laughed at--lose your temper--turn sulky, and turned over in a horse-pond. OUTSIDE.--Your eye cut out by the lash of a clumsy coachman’s whip--hat blown off, into a pond, by a sudden gust of wind--seated between two apprehended murderers, and a noted sheep-stealer in irons, who are being conveyed to gaol--a drunken fellow, half asleep, falls off the coach, and, in attempting to save himself, drags you along with him into the mud--musical guard, and driver, “horn mad”--turned over--one leg under a bale of cotton, the other under the coach--hands in breeches pockets--head in a hamper of wine--lots of broken bottles _versus_ broken heads--_cut_ and run--send for surgeon--wounds dressed--lotion and lint, four dollars--take post-chaise--get home--lay down, and laid up.